Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post - A straight girl enters the queer world...

princessbelle · 03-12-2012, 09:41 AM

My first thought when reading this is your friends need to grasp the fact that no matter who they date, they are still themselves.

For example...I am a gay femme woman, that is my ID. I am still that gay femme woman no matter if i date Butch, FTM, Trans, or Bio-Men for that matter. (not that i would date bio-men, but trying to prove my point here)

No matter who i date, that does not change who i am.

The second thing i want to mention is respect. This is how i see it anyway...

If i'm dating someone that goes by He or Hy or She, i call them their selected pronoun out of respect. It doesn't mean it changes who i am. It is all about them and what "they" prefer. If i date a FTM and he has transitioned to a man, i would still be a gay femme woman, and never would i think of myself as straight. Even if "he" sees it that way or the rest of the world did. I wouldn't care. I know who i am.

IMO you don't have to have a bookshelf full of knowledge to understand how someone IDs. If the person explains it to you fully and you take that, accept that and honor that with respect. It doesn't change who you are and how you ID. You can date three different Trans or Butch or any ID and get three different ways of seeing how they feel. There is no cut and dry answer to knowing IMO. All relationships are different and you just gotta really listen to your partner to know what they want, expect and need so that you can be the best partner you can be.

I have dated the gamut, and it's always a little adjustment with the way they ID but it is theirs and you just have to be flexible and respectful. What's more important, at least to me, is do "we" get along, are we compatible, do we have similar dreams, do i feel affection and is that affection given back. Ya know?

Another thought is invite her here. Show her some of the threads on Trans and maybe she can get a feel of how it flows.

Not sure this was your question really, but just wanted to share that.

Sounds like you are a really good friend and they are lucky to have you around.

03-12-2012, 09:41 AM	#2
princessbelle Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Tennessee Posts: 6,100 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,380 Thanked 30,496 Times in 5,198 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	IMO My first thought when reading this is your friends need to grasp the fact that no matter who they date, they are still themselves. For example...I am a gay femme woman, that is my ID. I am still that gay femme woman no matter if i date Butch, FTM, Trans, or Bio-Men for that matter. (not that i would date bio-men, but trying to prove my point here) No matter who i date, that does not change who i am. The second thing i want to mention is respect. This is how i see it anyway... If i'm dating someone that goes by He or Hy or She, i call them their selected pronoun out of respect. It doesn't mean it changes who i am. It is all about them and what "they" prefer. If i date a FTM and he has transitioned to a man, i would still be a gay femme woman, and never would i think of myself as straight. Even if "he" sees it that way or the rest of the world did. I wouldn't care. I know who i am. IMO you don't have to have a bookshelf full of knowledge to understand how someone IDs. If the person explains it to you fully and you take that, accept that and honor that with respect. It doesn't change who you are and how you ID. You can date three different Trans or Butch or any ID and get three different ways of seeing how they feel. There is no cut and dry answer to knowing IMO. All relationships are different and you just gotta really listen to your partner to know what they want, expect and need so that you can be the best partner you can be. I have dated the gamut, and it's always a little adjustment with the way they ID but it is theirs and you just have to be flexible and respectful. What's more important, at least to me, is do "we" get along, are we compatible, do we have similar dreams, do i feel affection and is that affection given back. Ya know? Another thought is invite her here. Show her some of the threads on Trans and maybe she can get a feel of how it flows. Not sure this was your question really, but just wanted to share that. Sounds like you are a really good friend and they are lucky to have you around. __________________ ~ I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou