Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post - A straight girl enters the queer world...

DeviantDaddy · 03-13-2012, 12:04 PM

Seems the thread has bit busy in my absence. Amazing how discussions can open the door to numerous opinions which in turn lead to more discussions. Thank you all for partaking in this and not only adding your views but also bringing up questions.

As for the butch vs. trans topic - it is disappointing to see that something like this is coming up. It is not our intention to have such topics come up where it seems as though we are trying to box people into groups of hy, he, she, etc. The notion of sweeping generalizations regarding dating, gender and orientation is simply, weak. Every person is different, every dynamic is different and rarely will you find that one couple's journey mirrors another's. There may be similarities but it is not the same for everyone.

When I got involved with kitten, I felt responsible for explaining to her the things that set me apart from cis-men. Because it was important to me that she understood that but she took it upon herself to go a step further, and research the b-f and trans community because she knew that it was something that I am part of. It is simply the way we as individuals feel when going into a relationship. If I were to get involved with someone who had a medical condition - I would research it to better understand it. Many times I have also researched communities, dynamics and interests that someone I was interested in was involved in.

As for the OP - this thread was called a straight girl entering the queer world. Because in her decision to get involved with this man - she has entered into a new terrain. Whether he identifies as heterosexual or queer. She has been questioning her orientation. I recall her coming to me when her interest was sparked and blatantly asking me - "I'm into him, very into him, does this make me a lesbian?"

Obviously it is a question I was not able to answer for her. Such a question is opening a can of worms. But before anyone assumes that labels are something we are trying to pigeon-hole them into, understand that this isn't our intention at all. This is simply a friend who has known nothing but the heterosexual lifestyle, privileges, customs and so forth. So this has taken her for a total head spin.

As for her partner. In my honest opinion, I think he is not stepping up as he should be. But then again, that is due to my own beliefs and sense of responsibility. Everyone is different. But to address some remarks that have been made - no, he doesn't seem to be actively involved in helping, teaching or guiding.

03-13-2012, 12:04 PM	#63
DeviantDaddy Junior Member How Do You Identify?: TG Male Preferred Pronoun?: He/Him Relationship Status: Mated Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: FL Posts: 93 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 115 Thanked 257 Times in 65 Posts Rep Power: 1840891	Wow... Seems the thread has bit busy in my absence. Amazing how discussions can open the door to numerous opinions which in turn lead to more discussions. Thank you all for partaking in this and not only adding your views but also bringing up questions. As for the butch vs. trans topic - it is disappointing to see that something like this is coming up. It is not our intention to have such topics come up where it seems as though we are trying to box people into groups of hy, he, she, etc. The notion of sweeping generalizations regarding dating, gender and orientation is simply, weak. Every person is different, every dynamic is different and rarely will you find that one couple's journey mirrors another's. There may be similarities but it is not the same for everyone. When I got involved with kitten, I felt responsible for explaining to her the things that set me apart from cis-men. Because it was important to me that she understood that but she took it upon herself to go a step further, and research the b-f and trans community because she knew that it was something that I am part of. It is simply the way we as individuals feel when going into a relationship. If I were to get involved with someone who had a medical condition - I would research it to better understand it. Many times I have also researched communities, dynamics and interests that someone I was interested in was involved in. As for the OP - this thread was called a straight girl entering the queer world. Because in her decision to get involved with this man - she has entered into a new terrain. Whether he identifies as heterosexual or queer. She has been questioning her orientation. I recall her coming to me when her interest was sparked and blatantly asking me - "I'm into him, very into him, does this make me a lesbian?" Obviously it is a question I was not able to answer for her. Such a question is opening a can of worms. But before anyone assumes that labels are something we are trying to pigeon-hole them into, understand that this isn't our intention at all. This is simply a friend who has known nothing but the heterosexual lifestyle, privileges, customs and so forth. So this has taken her for a total head spin. As for her partner. In my honest opinion, I think he is not stepping up as he should be. But then again, that is due to my own beliefs and sense of responsibility. Everyone is different. But to address some remarks that have been made - no, he doesn't seem to be actively involved in helping, teaching or guiding.