[Mike]

Originally Posted by DaddysKitten

We are not talking about a 'femme', we are talking about a woman who is a cis-gendered female straight girl. Not a femme, who has already identified with something outside of what is cis-normal. Assuming she is a femme, since this is the constant talk about where the trans-man should focus his studies on, pushes this straight girl into a category of acknowledging and understanding some sort of queer lifestyle she is accustomed to. She is not. In fact, she doesn't even know what a 'femme' is. This is a straight girl.

I feel like, when you refer to her as a femme, you are IDing her, and she has not gotten anywhere near that point in her exploration to identify with it, and also states, in some manner a base knowledge of what this encompasses. But this is base knowledge she has yet to develop.

Am I disagreeing, that he should understand femmes better. Well no, but to me, it's like saying men need to study women, and women need to study men. It's kind of... common sense that in order to be with anyone, you need to understand their basic fundamentals. But no one ever knows everything about anyone, no matter their ID or orientation.

He has been around cis-gendered straight women all of his life, he needs to learn her and understand her. But that is a given in any relationship of any capacity. Please refer to my previous post before this one, to understand where I am coming from with the importance of such.

I get that you dont think she calls herself a femme, but i disagree in the fact that cis women, dont know what femme is or girly girly even. I have spend most of my life in the str8* world dated a string of str8* women, in a 17 year relationship with one. Never had a one question who they where when dating me. I could just be wrong or lucky and all that but i dont think its matters to them what anyone ids as. They just know they fell in love and its what it is. I am trying to recall if any of them used the word Femme, i do know some of them used girly girl.