I know you all have to be so sick of hearing from me
Yesterday evening I had a long talk with my mother, who was having a total meltdown. It was incredibly stressful trying to be there for her as she was raging and crying and scared and all of the other stuff that goes along with knowing your days are numbered and that you're in pain.
Anyway....trying to figure out next steps...and spoke to the doctor this morning. She has 2 months "if we're lucky." She cannot go home, period. She cannot eat food, period. She will have horrible pain from here on out and they will do their best to help control it, period.
Fuck.
They believe they can get her off the IV pain meds, which she is hitting every 15 minutes religiously, and onto oral and patches for pain. They believe they can get her strong enough to fly down to me.
And then it's on me, period.
I have a call in to hospice.
This also means I get to have my crazy, fucked up narcissist of a sister in my house so that she can say her "devoted daughter and where's my share of the loot?" goodbyes.
I am angry, upset and just feel sick myself.
So...welcome to 50. First task of the next half century....help your momma die.
Fuck.