Quote:
Originally Posted by dancer611
I have always, and continue to, attract primarily straight men. Older, younger, whatever. I've been with several women, but it's harder for me to catch their interest when I'm out and about, it seems. Even if I go to a gay bar or LGBT event, butch women may or may not look me over, but don't approach me.
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You're not kicking off anyone's gaydar. Either that or you're not looking approachable.
Think of it this way:
Men find women inherently approachable, unless she's jaw-droppingly stunning or holding hands with another man. Men don't have a problem going up to a woman, it doesn't really matter what she looks like, as men have lots of different reasons for approaching different women. One could be to try his luck, or she could remind him of someone, or he could feel sorry for her (I kid you not). Irrelevant of why, most men have been brought up in a society which teaches them that it's the man's job to approach the woman.
Women on the other hand do not approach. Walking down the street or sitting in a bar women don't even meet other peoples eyes. Women have been taught that it's unfeminine, wrong or downright dangerous to approach strangers. This is something that most women have to unlearn once they come out.
To approach someone women need 3 things - Incentive (does she fancy you etc), Approachability from you (will you reject her), and Gaydar (are you a straight woman who could possibly be offended).
You have to (I'm sorry to say this) stop catching men's eyes and stop engaging men when they approach you, if you wish them to stop hitting on you. If not, continue as you are.
With women you have to catch their eye, try to engage them whenever possible, and attempt to emulate some
gay behaviours, as "Gaydar" really does exist and is generally tied into non-heteronormative behaviours. So the more 'heteronormative' you are, the less gay you are going to look to others.
Good luck.