First let me say...there are a whole bunch of butches (sounds like a box of cereal) who are incredible and healthy and who are ready to engage in incredibly nice, healthy relationships.
Second...there's only one relationship either one of you should consider at this time and that's the one with your own selves. There is only ONE person in this world who meets ALL of your needs and that is YOU. There is only one person who you should love first and foremost and that is YOU. The moment you think otherwise you have forfeited the very essence of your being and fallen out of love with YOU. Learn to love yourself first and completely; good, bad and ugly. This doesn't necessarily mean that you won't snag a few lumps of coal along the way but you will see the red flags MUCH sooner and understand that you don't need to sacrifice ANYTHING to have happiness with another being and you will accept nothing LESS than what you deserve.
I'm not ashamed to say I have had a whole LOT of help along the way. I didn't have the luxury of a present parents (they were just cruel to each other) so I desperately needed the help of others. I struggled horribly in my 20s so I feel your pain. My first girlfriend was (back then) the love of my life. I was devastated after we broke up so much that I though I couldn't live without her. It took me years and a lot of therapy to understand what was going on. It was the first time in my life ANYONE had paid so much attention to me. The first time someone loved me for who I was/am. The first person to show that they cared. I latched on and didn't feel like I could let go.
I'm 47 and still learning but once those true colors show I know to run for the hills. Nothing, no one is worth my own personal happiness.
Good luck and don't worry about the help she's getting just get yourself help. She may or may not change. It takes two to tango and the only person you CAN change is yourself.
Scoobs
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~~Bob Richardson~~
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