In my late 20's I was completely out of control...I would binge and purge, stay out drinking all night, screw anything in pants...desperately trying to feel something, anything to take away the pain I felt from childhood sexual abuse and the attempt to prove I wasn't gay. It all culminated with me marrying my daughter's father because he was a good man and I was going to be straight even if it killed me.
Well I'm okay with the lesbian part now, and I no longer "diet" in an attempt to lose weight; I have changed my eating habits to help my heart. BUT.... I still get the urge to binge and purge if I over eat, and I weigh every single day....sometimes twice a day. I know how easy it would be to slip back into the binge purge cycle, which is why I haven't really "dieted" in 20 years. I have to be in control when I diet, and it leads me straight to the b&p to regain control if I stray from the "allowed" calorie count.
Thank you sylvie for starting this thread...as lady di says, ODAAT.
|