[Leigh]

Geez I miss ALOT when I'm away for days at a time ~ but I have to say that taking a few days, week however long it was, away from the Planet has rejuvenated me and is inspiring me to come back to track my progress. I do keep up with the thread and read pages when I have the chance ~ hopefully though now I will be able to keep up on the thread better. I have alot to tell, good things are beginning to happen to me and since I love this thread and all of my friends here, I figure that I will share with all of you!

About a week and a half ago I started to really use SparkPeople, and since I have it seems to be keeping me on track more than if I was just trying to get healthy on my own. I'm tracking my food everyday using their food tracker; I'm also tracking my fitness and since I began doing these things I've noticed how much more conscious of things I am as opposed to before. I had gotten so used to stuffing my face with the unhealthy stuff (chips, pepsi, chocolate etc) that I completely let myself go; I got to my largest weight last year (370) and finally said to myself that its time for a change. Since I began to track things on the SP website, I've noticed some basic changes; I've been active every single day for a week, whether its going for a walk or doing some work with my parents (will explain more later). I have been drinking nothing but water everyday (except for one can of diet pepsi around mid afternoon or so) and I'm not eating what I used to.

I've noticed some basic changes since I began a week ago; I do not feel nearly as sluggish as I did before, I'm much more alert and ready to get up and do things (even just simple things like chores). I can stand for longer periods of time without getting nearly as sore or tired as I once did; sure I still do get sore but its not like it was. I'm actually going for walks, getting myself out of my house instead of staring at the same four walls day in and day out. I bought myself a resistance band and weights that I've used once already, when I'm in my house and if I can't get out on certain days (its rainy, I'm babysitting my sister etc) I can use them along with exercises I have and I can do workouts here as well.

Another thing has changed, and this sometimes can be much more important than just weight alone ~ my attitude. I've spend a lifetime listening to people tell me that I can't do anything, I'll never amount to anything etc and for the longest time I believed them. I can't quite pinpoint what it was that finally made me start to alter my way of thinking, but its amazing what a positive attitude can do for someone. There is one other thing that has boosted my self esteem alot and its something I never thought would even be possible ~ work! My parents own a floral shop and unfortunately their full time guy quit on them (his last day was last friday) so my mom is working their again full time and now I am their part time helper. Monday I went in and basically just shadowed them most of the day, but helped them with little tedious things that needed to be done. Then I went in yesterday and she has me do two floral arrangements ~ me? I've never done one in my life but okay sure so I made two of them, and 10 mins after I finished the second one it sold Is that even possible? It is and I was pretty stoked that something I made sold so quickly. I went in again today and got to do two more arrangements, of which one of them sold too .............. so out of four arrangements that I've made since yesterday, 2 of them sold

That was quite the boost to my self confidence, which I've never had much of and it certainly is making me want to take better care of myself so that I can continue to move forward in life. I'm finally beginning to realize that I am worth having good things happen to me and slowly they are ~ this has been one of the best weeks that I've had in years and I won't allow anyone or anything to ruin that