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Girl Friday · 06-06-2012, 02:43 AM

Two meetings today.

What I learned:

" Take the 'personal' out of being a person.

Sometimes we do great wrong in the course of our dysfunction. No one is exempt from fallibility, mistakes, or just good old fashioned stupidity.

Anger is a healthy emotion and many of us struggle to put it into perspective, given our experiences as or with addicts. We talk a lot about what to do when we're angry and how to process those feelings. But when we're wrapped up in our justified angst we sometimes forget one very important thing: each one of us will be on the opposite side of similar circumstances soon enough. It is inevitable that, sometime in the near future, someone will be angry with us for our own behavior or decision-making and we will be the ones bearing up under that 'justified' displeasure and scorn. This is one of the best reasons there is to stop taking another person's mistakes personally.

We've learned that it doesn't take a drink to make someone act like a drunk. It also doesn't take an idiot to make a stupid mistake. (You're a perfectly intelligent person, right?!) Mistakes are part of the human process. If you took every mistake as a personal affront you would have no time for living.

Conversely, it doesn't take a saint to embrace compassion when wronged. At the end of the day, pressing the victim advantage after you've been hurt won't make anything better and actually might make a whole lot of things worse. Say your piece and then let go.

Thank you to everyone who shared part of their story and/or their advice with me. I'm going to go apply it to what's left of life.

06-06-2012, 02:43 AM	#1283
Girl Friday Member How Do You Identify?: Maryanne (with a little bit of The Professor and some Ginger thrown in) Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Uncharted desert isle Posts: 227 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 766 Thanked 775 Times in 140 Posts Rep Power: 8696405	Two meetings today. What I learned: " Take the 'personal' out of being a person. Sometimes we do great wrong in the course of our dysfunction. No one is exempt from fallibility, mistakes, or just good old fashioned stupidity. Anger is a healthy emotion and many of us struggle to put it into perspective, given our experiences as or with addicts. We talk a lot about what to do when we're angry and how to process those feelings. But when we're wrapped up in our justified angst we sometimes forget one very important thing: each one of us will be on the opposite side of similar circumstances soon enough. It is inevitable that, sometime in the near future, someone will be angry with us for our own behavior or decision-making and we will be the ones bearing up under that 'justified' displeasure and scorn. This is one of the best reasons there is to stop taking another person's mistakes personally. We've learned that it doesn't take a drink to make someone act like a drunk. It also doesn't take an idiot to make a stupid mistake. (You're a perfectly intelligent person, right?!) Mistakes are part of the human process. If you took every mistake as a personal affront you would have no time for living. Conversely, it doesn't take a saint to embrace compassion when wronged. At the end of the day, pressing the victim advantage after you've been hurt won't make anything better and actually might make a whole lot of things worse. Say your piece and then let go. Thank you to everyone who shared part of their story and/or their advice with me. I'm going to go apply it to what's left of life.