[tazz]

Part 1 of 5: Logistic availability

1) How often do you see your friends in person?
seldom

2) How often do you talk on the phone, email, skype, etc. a friend?
at least once a week

3) Is childcare a consideration, when you’re making plans with a friend? nope

4) Are finances a consideration?
yep

5) Is accessibility or health a consideration?
nope

6) Is your work or class schedule a consideration?
yep

7) Does last-minute planning figure into your friendships, either out of necessity or just because that’s the way you prefer it?
once in a while i do last minute planning.


Part 2 of 5: Boundaries, expectations and values

1) What are your thoughts on butch/femme friendships?
it's kewl

2) If your partner didn’t like someone, would you still be friends with that person?
yes

3) Describe a time someone cut you off as a friend.
when they decided not to contact me anymore

4) Describe a time you cut someone off as a friend.
if someone finds it takes too much energy to be my friend, i don't want them in my life. i'm worth it~and i don't take up all that much energy.

5) How would you respond, if you realized a friend had a substance abuse problem?
not sure

6) How would you respond, if your friend were in an abusive relationship? been there done that... they are grown ups and can take care of themselves. i'm not a counselor.

7) If you began to have romantic feelings about your (partnered) friend, what would you do?
keep it to myself, it's no one's business. write about it in my journal or tell my therapist. keep it in a file somewhere. you can like anyone you want... just don't act on your feelings.

8) If you began to have romantic feelings about your (single) friend, what would you do?
been there done that... now i keep my feelings to myself, or i share them with my journal or my therapist.

9) If your friend had what you considered an annoying, albeit harmless habit, would you tell her?
no, it's part of her, and i accept her for all she is.

10) Describe a time that you “outgrew” a friend, if applicable.
we all evolve and change, and part of that change means that some friendships last a very long time, or a season.

11) How many years have you known your oldest friend? How have you managed to stay friends, over time?
i have known my oldest friend for over 30 years and we do not stay in touch anymore. we are emotionally and spiritually on the opposite sides of the planet.

12) Do you have any friends who are exes? What’s your philosophy about that?
nope. once things end, i put the nail in the coffin.

13) How do you feel about “friends with benefits”?
nope. i wind up getting hurt.

14) How do your expectations of a friend differ from your expectations of a romantic partner?
of course yes!

15) Describe a time when you really came through for a friend.

16) Describe a time a friend really came through for you.

17) What are a few deal breakers that would stop you being friends with someone?

18) What are the kinds of characters flaws you can overlook in a friend?


Part 3 of 5: How important is it to you that:

1) …your friend’s age is fairly close to yours? nope

2) …your friend’s educational level is similar to yours? nope

3) …your friend’s economic situation is similar to yours? kinda

4) …your friend’s religious beliefs are similar to yours? yes

5) …your friend’s class background is similar to yours?

6) …your friend’s gender identity or sexual preference is similar to yours?

7) …your small or adult children like your friends?

8) …your friends like to include your children, when you hang out together?


Part 4 of 5: Which of the following shared activities with a friend appeal to you?

1) Attending singles events and supporting each other as you scan the environment for someone to flirt with, etc.

2) Exercising; outdoors or indoors

3) Watching movies or videos; at home or in a theater

4) Playing video or electronic games; at home or somewhere else

5) Attending sports events or watching sports on TV

6) Participating in team sports

7) Attending cultural events (museums, concerts, readings, etc.)

8) Shopping

9) Cooking, or eating in restaurants

10) Visiting wildlife centers, going to a county fair, hanging out to watch the dog run in an urban area, bird watching—anything that involves animals

11) Other


Part 5 of 5: What important things has this survey left out?



BONUS QUESTION: In your opinion, has the fact that this survey was created by a femme, affected it in any way?