Quote:
Originally Posted by Kobi
Jo, Ender, you both raise some interesting points. Is tricky stuff with no easy answers.
Feminism, misogyny, sexism, exploitation, objectification are not one size fits all in every situation kind of thing. The definitions, interpretations, perspectives, are as individual as our queer ids can be.
In one way it is frustrating to see the same institutional patriarchial crap as alive and well today as it was in 1973 when Shirley Chisholm said...the emotional, sexual, and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says, 'It's a girl'."
In another way, we as women have choices now that we didnt have way back then. We have a right to these choices as well as the implications and consequences of them.
The most difficult for me to deal with is the sometimes fine line between what are manifestations of internalized patriarchal bullshit versus what is deliberate, calculated, informed individual choice.
The second most difficult is having the negative stuff being done to women, out there, whether it be in the media, in the workplace, in relationships, in economics, in parenting etc. being replicated within our own community. That just really bites.
I dont have any answers. I just never expected to be dealing with the same stuff and more in my 50's as I did in my 20's. It is discouraging and aggravating and tiring to have to address this over and over and over again.
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Sorry for the delay as I've been out playing rather than reading.
Kobi, what I put in red is what really strikes me.
Yes, I want women to be empowered to be whoever they are, present themselves however they want to, celebrate their sexuality....whatever the heck they want.
And....I struggle with this as I look around the world, and think...how much of this is a particular woman presenting herself the way she wants to, and how much is what she feels is expected of her? How much is a woman celebrating, displaying, flaunting, *fill in the blank* her own sexuality, and how much of it is playing into the misogynistic notion that a woman is valued based on appearance, and someone
else's version of what that appearance should be?
At the risk of offending, we just came from a day at Disney....during which I turned to Snack and said "I'm glad I don't have a daughter." Not because I value males more....but because I would be at a complete loss as to how to proceed, and what to even think. At that moment, we were in line behind a group of girls, probably ages 14 - 17, mayyyybbbeeeee 18 but I doubt it....all in t-shirts tied up under their breasts, sides slit to show their lacey bras, "shorts" that barely qualified for the name, pierced belly buttons with dangling rhinestones....
Let me be clear....I don't object to any of this when it's an adult woman, and her own choice.
It kills me though to think of what's going on in the heads of these girls, and what standard they are measuring themselves against.
I look at my son, of the same age, who doesn't give a thought (I guarantee you) to his weight, what he's wearing, or how he looks. He is left free to concentrate on his own interests, his school work, his dreams....
I guess I'm at a complete loss. Maybe it's age....I know a lot has changed in my head after turning 50 and spending some time in reflection after my mother's passing. I just feel like we're losing ground....and that the people most commonly fostering the growth of misogyny, here in the US at least, are female.