[Kobi]

[quote=Glenn;630220]

Originally Posted by Kobi

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Having grown up in a very traditional Italian family, the message was very clear.....girls/females/women behavior, dress, think, aspire to, prefer, defer, etc certain things. I very much felt female but the traditions didnt fit who I was, how I behaved, how I thought, what I aspired to, or how I preferred to dress.


Kobi; A lot of traditional Italian families were also matriarchal led such as mine . Mine nurtured my strength as a butch, gave me independence, did'nt make me or my partner of thirty plus years do or think anything we did'nt want too. Please do not give this thread the wrong impression about what traditional Italian families are or are not concerning butches and others. Thank-You

Glenn, we had different experiences.

In the 1950's, my traditional Italian experience was very patriarchal, very male, very old fashioned male-female rigidly defined roles, expectations, and even laws. I had many exceptional female role models who did exceptional things under extraordinary circumstances but it saddened me to know they didnt see themselves as exceptional women. It saddened me that they didnt value the other females in their lives in the way I expected. It saddened me when my maternal great grandmother who owned a successful farm which was run by her and her 2 unmarried daughters, left those daughters destitute and homeless when she died because she left the farm to her sons.

I am speaking to my experience. Perhaps you might wish to revisit my earlier post which read:

"This made me start thinking.....did you ever notice how we, as women, have been socialized to put qualifiers in the things we say?

We should be able to just speak what we experience or feel and it should stand on its own as a reflection of our experience.

Yet, we are taught to be mindful of how something we say or feel might impact on others and to acknowledge it and address it in some way."

You are welcome and encouraged to speak from your experience. I would love to hear how a strong matriarchal led family shaped the person you are.

Thank you