I think that we all have to love ourselves, first, before we can truly accept someone else's love for us. Keep hanging in there, and keep doing your best to work on yourself, and your life.
I know that it is very, very hard to leave family, even if they are bad for you. I've had to do it in the past, simply to be able to save myself from a horrible fate. It took a lot of help from my friends, before I could realize this, however.
We are here, if you need to vent, or just need to talk. hugs
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