[Ginger]

Originally Posted by Nomad

boy howdy and pass the matzoh balls! dysfunctional existence is just as much of an addiction as any other.
on an entirely different note, i dont always hold with the think/get mantra meaning 'think negative, get negative. think positive, get positive'. you can be of a sincere 'think positively' mindset 24/7 and crappy things will still happen.

So true! Plus I believe in the random quality of experience, which is always a factor.

i've amended my version of the mantra to 'think negative, see and invite negative. think positive, see and invite positive' because that's what it comes down to. what have we invited into our lives? kind of like vampires. you gotta invite them in. (or is that an urban myth?)

No, it's not an urban myth. It's true.

anyway. we're usually careful who we invite into our homes yes? so equal care should be given into what/who we invite into our lives i think. there will always be some crazy rides but the good kind of crazy is the one that leaves us thinking 'ouch that hurt but it was worth it' whereas the bad crazy might make you feel like, oh idaknow, you're 'too screwed up to be loved' maybe? and that mindset hurts sooooooooo much more than any damage anyone else could do to you.

Ouch, been there.

also i think it's wise to look beneath the wrapping paper before handing out that 'positive' label. believe it or not i'm one of those 'there's good in everyone and beauty in everything' people to a sickeningly ridiculous degree so dont automatically read cynicism into what i'm saying. i just think that peeling away a few layers of something to get a little deeper before labeling something a positive experience or a positive influence is wise rather than a cynical take on things.

yes, time allows a deeper perception.

as a matter of fact i think it prevents more cynicism than it creates by allowing you to see some reality and take a miss on the things that were disguised as good ideas. it's also a little empowering to realize that you did the leg work before you jumped in, especially if you save yourself from making a huge mistake. that's a pretty good feeling for sure! cynicism comes from disappointment and feeling taken advantage of. everyone can be disappointed but being taken advantage of is something that rarely happens in non-compromised persons without consent. (by non-compromised i mean people who arent easily exploited such as children, folks who are cognitively delayed, some elders and so on)

i honestly believe that the consent part of being taken advantage of or disappointed is what really creates the hurt.

SO SO SO true!!! I'm dealing with that one myself.

it's not the other person/people who actually hurt us sometimes. when we strip away all our posturing and ego we often find that in many cases we've consented to being taken advantage of by others or by our own addiction to dysfunction and the realization that we didnt love ourselves first and best packs a punch like Ali climbing up one side and down the other of Frasier. know what i'm sayin?

Great post! I interjected a few comments, in purple.