My best friend of 15-years identifies as a Trans Bear.
When we met, we were both baby dykes, fledgling butch and femme baby dykes full of bravado, trying to find ourselves and our way (
and having an awful lot of fun along the way). Over the course of the past decade and a half we have been through so much - many highs, and oh so many lows. I'm grateful for his friendship. He is my touchstone. He's taught me and inspired me, and propped me up when I've needed it. He's also let me take care of him, he's shared the good, the bad and the ugly. And every step of the way I have been so proud of him (even on those days I've wanted to shake him).
I am so proud of his bravery. Every stage of his transition has required renewed and refreshed courage.
I am so proud that every step of the way he has followed his own path, even when it diverged from anything he knew, from anything he saw, from anything written or talked about. He has let his internal compass lead the way.
I am so proud of the role he has taken on as community educator, both within our local queer community, and within the regional and wider bear and leather communities. As we all know, fear and intolerance are human conditions, being a pioneer within the community is as hard and sometimes harder and often requires MORE courage, than educating the heterosexual community.
And I am so proud of the every day education he does, with the guys he manages in the warehouse, with his family, with 100s of other people who have never ever met anyone like him, never even conceived of someone like him. He's smoothed the paths for dozens of queer kids of every stripe, by being open and honest and a warm, positive reassuring role model with their families.
I'm so proud of every obstacle he's overcome. Of every barrier he's broken through. And of his ability to lift himself up and keep going, again and again and again - because none of those obstacles were overcome easily, and none of those barriers were broken down swiftly.
I am so proud, *beamingly proud*, of the full, happy, healthy, loving person he is.
Today he entered himself as a contestant in the Mr. CT Leather competition.
It is an enormous step for him, to not just find a place within the gay leather community, but to step up and put himself on display.
It has been a long time coming, a long journey for him to find this level of self-confidence; and in finding himself, and joy in himself, he has opened hearts and minds like no one else I know.
Not in big flashy splashy ways; in every day, real face-to-face ways.
So go on you brave sexy M.F. -- be bold!
I'll always be your biggest fan.
And random fact: He's not the first trans man to break this ground, Tyler McCormick won International Man of Leather in 2010. Bravo, Mr. McCormick.