I've been thinking about this a bit since my last post.
With a couple of my exes, regardless of how things ended and the fact that I might have wanted them off the planet or at least shut away in some distant gulag so I never have to see them again, there is still that evidently irrefutable sexual attraction thing that makes me weak in the knees should we actually find ourselves face to face. I've succumbed to it a time or three, I confess. I'm no angel. It fascinates me that I can be so aroused by someone I wish would simply vanish in a puff smoke before my eyes. Maybe that's it, huh? Maybe it's about the fact that I know I absolutely will not allow them in my life in any other capacity and that I won't ever have to again deal with their bullshit. Maybe it's just the old passion is passion thing, regardless of the flavor of it. It's sort of the ultimate no-strings attached assignation, and that absolutely works for me. I certainly can't call it "making peace" but it's definitely making something.
|