Quote:
Originally Posted by Fanbutch
To be honest, I'm mostly asking because I feel like a butch, but I worry others would not define me that way. I love using the word "butch" to describe my gender as well as sexuality, but I have several characteristics that would, if going by the standard definition, contradict this identity. For example, I love bright colours and often wear them, am a total mush for rom coms, and tend to giggle and jump around when excited (which is frequently). But I also bind, and feel uncomfortable when my appearance is too feminine.
If butch is an umbrella term, I'd fall under it. But if it's more solid and unalterable, I probably wouldn't.
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Many years ago, when the world was young, a crusty old butch gave me some great advice which was this: 'butch is a label, wear the label don't let the label wear you'. I took that to mean that I shouldn't ever let myself be constrained by the idea that I can't do 'X' because 'butches don't do X'. The things I do, alpha geek that I am, are butch because *I* am doing them. That means that if I get giddy as a schoolgirl because Steven Pinker or David Sloan Wilson have just released new books, so be it I'm still a butch getting excited because two of her favorite authors have new work out. If it means getting into high-nerd happiness because I just saw something interesting in my telescope or the vet let me go to the backroom to look at the sample they took from my dog, then butches do that as well.
If you wear bright colors then butches wear bright colors because you identify as a butch and do so. While there's a spectrum of butch such that in most circles, if a group of people 'in the life' were to walk into a room and someone said "woo! look at that butch over there!" everyone would probably look in the same direction there is a point, ineffable as it might be, where people wouldn't look at the woman wearing a dress with her hair coiffed like she'd just stepped off a 1940s film noir set. What that point is, I don't know but as a practical matter it exists because we all have some idea of what the other person means when they use the word 'butch'.
You are butch because you identify yourself as a butch. The things you do are butch because you are doing them. Butch is just a label, wear the label proudly, don't let the label wear you.
Cheers
Aj