Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post - What are your three non-negotiables (in a relationship)?

alexri · 09-14-2012, 01:54 PM

I'm pretty blunt about what my "dealbreakers" are to save a lot of time and heartache for people. These are the things I won't bend on.
I'm totally stretching the "three" on this...

This is not me judging anyone else's lives, interests, opinions, etc. This is just where I stand on certain things.

1) No illegal drugs (and this includes pot), no cigarette smoking. If someone is a social drinker, social drinking is okay. I prefer to be with someone whose ideas of a fun time do not revolve around alcohol.

2) Morals and values... some basics...
No cheating. You cheat, you're done.
Don't lie to me (excluding the situations like lying about something if you're arranging a surprise). If you have to lie to me, something is wrong with our relationship and we need to talk. Tell me the truth even if it hurts both of us.
If you need with something personal or emotional, please ask. I'd be more hurt by how bad things would get if you didn't stop and ask for help. If something is wrong I need to know so we can work on it if possible, get help, etc. People are human, we are not perfect, and we make mistakes. There are some mistakes I can't forgive, but that's very few and they're very serious. I love the quote "if you're in a hole, stop digging." I can't help you get out of the hole if you don't tell me.
Never fake an orgasm. Ever.
I am a very loyal guy, but once you've lost my trust, it's very hard to get it back.

3) I personally don't want to have kids. I don't hate kids (many assume this when I say I am childfree). I don't want to raise children or be a parent. I know I would not make a good parent. I don't have the interest, patience, etc. So I am clear and up front that if someone is looking to start a family, I'm not the guy.

09-14-2012, 01:54 PM	#123
alexri Member How Do You Identify?: - Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: - Posts: 549 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,209 Thanked 2,799 Times in 468 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	Top three areas... I'm pretty blunt about what my "dealbreakers" are to save a lot of time and heartache for people. These are the things I won't bend on. I'm totally stretching the "three" on this... This is not me judging anyone else's lives, interests, opinions, etc. This is just where I stand on certain things. 1) No illegal drugs (and this includes pot), no cigarette smoking. If someone is a social drinker, social drinking is okay. I prefer to be with someone whose ideas of a fun time do not revolve around alcohol. 2) Morals and values... some basics... No cheating. You cheat, you're done. Don't lie to me (excluding the situations like lying about something if you're arranging a surprise). If you have to lie to me, something is wrong with our relationship and we need to talk. Tell me the truth even if it hurts both of us. If you need with something personal or emotional, please ask. I'd be more hurt by how bad things would get if you didn't stop and ask for help. If something is wrong I need to know so we can work on it if possible, get help, etc. People are human, we are not perfect, and we make mistakes. There are some mistakes I can't forgive, but that's very few and they're very serious. I love the quote "if you're in a hole, stop digging." I can't help you get out of the hole if you don't tell me. Never fake an orgasm. Ever. I am a very loyal guy, but once you've lost my trust, it's very hard to get it back. 3) I personally don't want to have kids. I don't hate kids (many assume this when I say I am childfree). I don't want to raise children or be a parent. I know I would not make a good parent. I don't have the interest, patience, etc. So I am clear and up front that if someone is looking to start a family, I'm not the guy.