[spritzerJ]

Letting kids take the lead with their lives is a tenuous issue for some folks. I understand the need to be an ally and guide. It is tricky to navigate. And some of the trickiness is highlighted by the developmental age. 6 is very rule bound, literal and developing a strict right and wrong. I can imagine a child being set in their ways at this age and develop another way later.

As a parent of a 6 year old, with a great deal of personality (that I call dominate she may feel and describe herself otherwise), I try to nurture that spirit. Because no matter how much I want her to fit in, have manners, etc I want her to have a strong voice more. I think social niceties one can learn at a lot of points in your life. But develop a sure sense of ones voice early seems to me more important. Fewer choices made with regrets later if one can speak for themselves.

And helping children develop along a gender continuum in a binary world is tricky. And worth it. The General goes all girl right now (and may forever) and she still knows you can have one body type and feel like you have that same one or feel like you have another. And at 4 she understood that better than she does now. Now at 6 it seems harder for her understand.

I know I walk a fine line. How at times others see me as not being a parent enough, not being in charge. Heck at some phases my choosing voice development over rule development drove me crazy and frustrated me. And at each point when I got to the place that said just make her do it she's shown me she is developing fine. I've learned I get better at describing to people what my intentions are. It isn't lazy parenting. I am intentional about letting her lead her way.