[princessbelle]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

I went through this very same thought when I was married, I was a dyke, married to a bio man. I never thought that when I sat down and picked myself apart that a word could change me so much like Femme did. It made sense to me and I kept it a secret between me and those I was involved with at the time. I often questioned my gender because of the social markers that get imposed on Femme. I wasn't fitting them and I certainly couldn't fully live as Femme while in my marriage. Queer, Dyke, Poly, Gay fit well and I didn't feel I had to not claim them.

It was like my Femme was in the closet and well this closet burst. Then I met more women like me and then more and more. I knew a few Femme's but the online communities I belonged to started too bursting at the seams with Femme. I found myself wading and sorting through all things that people were assigning Femme and slipped comfortably into my Gender.

It's not easy when one as a Femme has to almost plan when it is ok to be you, it's oppressive and us being women it's a rough time self examining one's needs because we are brow beaten into x, y, z. For me if a woman, man, is having and experiencing queer feelings, queer thoughts, queer desires more likely than you will fit one of the many labels that we use.


Straight girls don't struggle with that. I asked and ask my friends and they are like um NO. Their choices in sex, love, politics, critical thinking is over ------------------------------------------------>

while mine is over there
<----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Opposite, maybe some similarities but not to many.

It was hard, wasn't it? I also remember on the dash site when i figured out what femme was and that i was one. But, then i read on some of the threads about femmes had to wear high heals all the time yada yada. I started second guessing the word for a long time and i thought, well heck, maybe i'm not.

But, i held on and found out femme can mean so many things to so many different people.

Well, it's a beautiful word and is shared by a lot beautiful women. And i'm so glad i figured out i don't have to be ____ to claim it.