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girl_dee · 10-27-2012, 04:29 PM

yup it was a hard Femme journey for myself as well. i told my (ex) husband that i was gay after one year of marriage, we stayed in it for 10 because there were commitments and kids involved, and i felt it was my job, besides i was trying to *fix* my gay. We were never like a married couple, more like a team who had a mission. We had a great run, but i knew my time would come. i tried to be Carol Brady/June Cleaver/Mary Tyler Moore and i dream of Jeannie all at once.

add in there a strong desire for kink and you got a real confused woman.

So divorce came then i came out of the closet .. the splinters were flying.

i was GAY!!!!!!!

So then i was free to be *gay*. i went out and got a girlfriend. She was a femme i suppose, heck i don't know what she was, but she was not butch. First day she wanted me to pick up her dry cleaning. Then she borrowed my shoes, my dresses... then she asked me to stop at her house and take out her trash, if i didn't mind. i stopped by and broke up with her! i realized i don't like women all THAT much after all. We fought for bottom you might say. it was so awkward and i was so disappointed that i was not *gay* after all. i felt like a freak. i didn't like men, and i didn't like women and i wanted someone to take control of me.

THEN a gay co-worker took me to a gay bar. i walked in scared to death. i looked around ....

i said *let's go.... there's nothing but men in here*

She said *dee? them ain't men*

i swooned at all the butches lined up at the bar, their energy. i felt like that was my defining femme moment. i finally figured out what i was, mostly.

A short time later i went into service for a Butch Master. She had a femme partner and we bonded, and that was a special time for me. i knew i had a wonderful, awesome life ahead because i knew who i was for once.

i remember when my husband found out i had a girlfriend, he was happy for me. He wanted to meet my girlfriend, i said sure.. so he drove by (we lived near each other) and he stopped over.. introduced him to my very butch girlfriend, he looked at her and said *omg this is disgusting*

Ruined his fantasy much?

10-27-2012, 04:29 PM	#111
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,831 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	yup it was a hard Femme journey for myself as well. i told my (ex) husband that i was gay after one year of marriage, we stayed in it for 10 because there were commitments and kids involved, and i felt it was my job, besides i was trying to fix my gay. We were never like a married couple, more like a team who had a mission. We had a great run, but i knew my time would come. i tried to be Carol Brady/June Cleaver/Mary Tyler Moore and i dream of Jeannie all at once. add in there a strong desire for kink and you got a real confused woman. So divorce came then i came out of the closet .. the splinters were flying. i was GAY!!!!!!! So then i was free to be gay. i went out and got a girlfriend. She was a femme i suppose, heck i don't know what she was, but she was not butch. First day she wanted me to pick up her dry cleaning. Then she borrowed my shoes, my dresses... then she asked me to stop at her house and take out her trash, if i didn't mind. i stopped by and broke up with her! i realized i don't like women all THAT much after all. We fought for bottom you might say. it was so awkward and i was so disappointed that i was not gay after all. i felt like a freak. i didn't like men, and i didn't like women and i wanted someone to take control of me. THEN a gay co-worker took me to a gay bar. i walked in scared to death. i looked around .... i said let's go.... there's nothing but men in here She said dee? them ain't men i swooned at all the butches lined up at the bar, their energy. i felt like that was my defining femme moment. i finally figured out what i was, mostly. A short time later i went into service for a Butch Master. She had a femme partner and we bonded, and that was a special time for me. i knew i had a wonderful, awesome life ahead because i knew who i was for once. i remember when my husband found out i had a girlfriend, he was happy for me. He wanted to meet my girlfriend, i said sure.. so he drove by (we lived near each other) and he stopped over.. introduced him to my very butch girlfriend, he looked at her and said omg this is disgusting Ruined his fantasy much?