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Chancie · 10-28-2012, 10:41 AM

I'm in love with a female identified butch, and we are, you know, a monogamous committed couple, but I have been mightily attracted to men who identify as FTM, and the very occasional cisman, but I'm not attracted to every female identified butch, or every man who identifies as FTM, and so on.

Seriously, the threads that make broad sweeping generalizations about groups bug me like crazy. But, I completely get that it's fun to flirt and let potential dates know they think queer femmes are hot stuff, for example.

I live in Western Mass, and in some communities there are huge numbers of lesbians. But, Pete and I perform our own sexy dance, perform in the RuPaul sense, I mean. When she helps me on with my coat, or holds the door for me, or fetches me a ginger ale, we appear to be enacting traditional gender roles.

The difference is, we have no desire to live in the 1950's; I am queer and Pete is a lesbian. We own who we are as people.

I understand that there are folks for whom this is the only place they can be seen for who they genuinely are. I'm thinking of 'the guys', who get to be 'guys', but I am also thinking of femmes who get to strut their stuff without being erased out in the world. But, I don't get to perform feminine the way feminine is portrayed in sitcoms, in the most grotesquely offensive way.

10-28-2012, 10:41 AM	#343
Chancie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: queer femme-inist Relationship Status: I'm lucky. Join Date: May 2010 Location: Western Mass Posts: 3,774 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,518 Thanked 14,541 Times in 2,744 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	I'm in love with a female identified butch, and we are, you know, a monogamous committed couple, but I have been mightily attracted to men who identify as FTM, and the very occasional cisman, but I'm not attracted to every female identified butch, or every man who identifies as FTM, and so on. Seriously, the threads that make broad sweeping generalizations about groups bug me like crazy. But, I completely get that it's fun to flirt and let potential dates know they think queer femmes are hot stuff, for example. I live in Western Mass, and in some communities there are huge numbers of lesbians. But, Pete and I perform our own sexy dance, perform in the RuPaul sense, I mean. When she helps me on with my coat, or holds the door for me, or fetches me a ginger ale, we appear to be enacting traditional gender roles. The difference is, we have no desire to live in the 1950's; I am queer and Pete is a lesbian. We own who we are as people. I understand that there are folks for whom this is the only place they can be seen for who they genuinely are. I'm thinking of 'the guys', who get to be 'guys', but I am also thinking of femmes who get to strut their stuff without being erased out in the world. But, I don't get to perform feminine the way feminine is portrayed in sitcoms, in the most grotesquely offensive way.