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Old 10-28-2012, 02:25 PM   #135
Nomad
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow View Post
Do you ever want to be a woman of color?
going out on my limb---

when i went to live with my parents, one of the things my mom told me was that i could be anything i wanted to be. (she was white so she had the luxury of telling me that)

i told her i wanted to be a hummingbird or a dragonfly.

it took her a week to drum up the stones to explain that i couldnt be either and i was truly heartbroken because being human isnt the end all and be all to me. frankly, there are times i could give two f*cks about being human at all. she told me, in a nutshell, that i had to limit myself to human being things.

sometime after that someone asked me what i wanted "to be" when i grew up and i said i wanted to be like Mrs Prejean (a teacher at my school). he said, 'oh you want to be a teacher!' and i said, 'no, i want to be a ballerina and a botanist but i want to look like Mrs Prejean because she's the smartest and prettiest lady i know.' so my 6-year old shit hits this guy's fan because Mrs Prejean isnt white.

when i think about her now, through that 6-year old's eyes, she may still be the smartest and prettiest lady i know. the 49-year old remembers her as the person who told my parents i needed glasses and the person who let me read ahead rather than making me wait for the rest of the class and the person who cleaned me up when someone's belligerent, alcoholic father scared the piss out of me (literally) on the playground.

stupid kid story. yeah. i know. do i want to be a woman of color now? WANT? no. i'm too steeped in my privilege. f*ck i dont even know how much privilege i have. but my heart says i'd rather be Mrs Prejean than June Cleaver any day. Mrs Prejean was real.
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