I hope this doesn't seem like a platitude, but something I always said to myself that helped, a little, was "I don't need to know HOW I will make it, only THAT I will make it" - put one foot in front of the other. And remember how great it is that you have this option, that you will have the choice about how to be perceived and identify, and you WILL get to be an old man. The baby face does go away. The beard moves up from the neck (and remember, for the most part, only those in the community know what that neck beard thing is - it IS a clear sign to most of the world that you are male, even if it's a little funny looking - if it really bothers you, consider isolating some part of your hair - for me, it was long sideburns until more grew in). Treat yourself to razors and the process - stroll confidently into bathroom stalls and plop your ass down like every other guy who needs to sit for whatever reason. It is hard to feel in between, it was the hardest time for me, much harder than being female. But you're on the dredge up the hill with the sled - soon you'll be flying down the mountain on your own path.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Julien
I would like to thank everyone for their insights to themselves, our society and our community. I'm learning a lot about you and what to expect and feel better about what I am experiencing as I go through my transition. As a way to better understand this journey, I am writing a manuscript about my own path to transitioning and it helps to have a place to come to that is safe and supportive to talk about a variety of issues pertaining to this. I have been getting very kind and supportive feedback from my earlier posts and I appreciate it very much. One person commented that it must be lonely for me to be in my particular situation. I must say that it is to a degree and I tend to isolate myself when I think that my outing myself as trans would cause some problem. However, I want to be true to myself and live the life I was meant to live. I am now 50 and do not want to be on the fringe. Someone in an earlier post asked whether we dated lesbians or straight women. I am attracted to the person who accepts me as I am. I personally would love to have a partner who is accepting of me as I am, even at this inbetween stage and will stay with me as I transition. It is something I want in my life. I had a Lady friend who told me I was gorgeous and masculine just the way I am right now and that really gave me a boost to my self esteem. I just wish she was my girlfriend. Thanks for this thread.
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