Quote:
Originally Posted by TenderKnight
Greetings 
1. Do you still feel like you should be welcomed into women's only space after you own your male ID?
2. How do you try to show respect for the women that need and want their own space?
3. Did you feel a loss of something after a certain point in your transition? |
I am answering from the perspective of someone who identifies as male and considers himself transgendered, but has not physically transitioned, most likely will not, and is in a situation where most of the people in my life do not know or understand that I identify this way. I hope I am not seen as thinking this through too much.
1. If it's an event/space where it's specifically women only and supportive spouses/family members are not invited and/or all are not welcome, then no, I do not feel like I belong there.
I don't belong to women's only/women's themed meetup groups, I don't do women's only/women's themed races anymore, and I do not go to lesbian bars.
And as an aside, one of the controversies I see in events like women's musical festivals, meetup groups, etc. is how you define "women." For example, there are some women's music festivals that will allow in people born as biological females that have transitioned or identify as male, but will not allow in born-males who identify as/transitioned to female. It's a discussion for another time/thread but still important.
2. I stay out of it unless I was invited in to be supportive at an event/fundraiser/etc.
3. Since my transition is mental right now, no hormones/no surgery, I experience both loss and longing. I have a longing to not be automatically seen and treated as female and be addressed as male instead; a longing for friends/family not to use female pronouns with me; a longing for others to understand. I have a loss when I have to show up/be present at certain things as female. Like I hate having to sign up for races in a female category, but realistically I have no choice; I would not be allowed to enter/participate. I hate checking the F box on forms, surveys, etc. Right now it's just something I have to deal with.