[violaine]

liam,

yes. dating someone else who is on the spectrum/AT does seem [at first glance] to present fewer complications communication-wise. a lot of the time, i really believe that i can only make sense to the other person when we are no longer involved. here is something i've been considering of late, please-

we are taught that honesty is the best policy ; psychology books, therapists, parents, friends, partners, siblings, et c- sugget that we 'say what's on our mind' and 'don't hold feelings/thoughts in for it's unhealthy to do so' .

ohk.

outside of times being 'light/happy' i've certainly known conflicts to arise whenever i do speak my truth, and am able to freely admit how i feel [all across the board], answer questions honestly, and communicate 'matter-of-fact' without a hidden agenda, why does it more often than not backfire ? ?

several NT's have told me that AT's [by wiring] do try the right communicative efforts- [ironically, this comes from phrases and books mostly coined / written by NT's!]- yet, NT's are not 'used to it being so easy/uncomplicated/natural/open" and are expecting a host of unsavoury layers- because a lot of insecurities/triggers - already in place from ... ?

much too much to wrap my head round. seems to make relationships set up for failure at the onset then.

i would like to think that there are NT's out there who can have The More Serious-type of conversation [serious does not = Negative!!]. are there NT's who do not personalise to a huge extent ; are not defensive as hell ; and when things turn difficult, matters do not get made worse by adding stuff unrelated to 'issues', and honesty/vulnerability/trust/the relationship/people = can remain intact.


is that asking for the moon?