I agree with Sleepy about all this, and I understand Anya's dilemma. She wants to do the right thing, to be honest, but she is also sensitive to another person's feelings. Sometimes there is no way to do both, be honest and be protective of another person. Sleepy gave some strategies for doing both—don't give certain information unless asked.
All good.
Anya, maybe it's not about the other person, the seemingly "perfect" butch you're just not into that much. Maybe it's about you, that you're not ready, to put it in a tired cliche. That you're still processing your last breakup.
Or maybe, there's something you want, something you haven't articulated to yourself and therefore can't apply to your puzzling non-attraction to the person you're describing.
And in my opinion, you don't have to articulate it. You'll know it when you see it. (Though it's a comment on your own integrity, that you want to analyze it.)
In the meantime, this person is apparently going along with your less-than-smitten response to her, for whatever reason. Maybe she doesn't see it (which says something about how well she sees You). Maybe she doesn't want to see it (which says something about her powers of denial). Maybe she isn't is taken with you as she wants you to think she is.
Lots of maybes, and maybe they don't matter.
If you're not feeling it, you're not feeling it. Enough said.
When you do feel it, you'll know it. And it'll be great! You seem so level headed, so insightful, so honorable, so cute. The world is big.
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