[ruthie14]

Love this thread! It's great hearing different viewpoints and stories... love the stories!

Want to just put out there, that dykeumentary is an awesome butch! A very good friend and would make anyone a wonderful partner! (love you my friend... had to put a plug in for ya!)

I have say, I have been dating for a while. I don't date right away..most of the time. I try not to jump to the gf thing too quickly. I have been burnt too many times going to quickly and taking that leap because I thought I knew them from phone/email etc. I like to do the coffee thing, get to know a person as a friend first. Even a group event is good for the second or third meeting... I can see how someone acts with other people. Sometimes that can be a good indicator of how they are. I do tend to email a lot first when I meet someone online. I can usually pick out the people who are a little, well, not safe for me in one way or another. People tend to show their true colors after a few conversations. Certainly not all, but too many red flags and I know I need to stay away to stay safe or that they just plain aren't for me. If I am on the fence, yes I will google someone. I don't pry into their taxes or whatever, just to see if they are who they say they are. I have also made many nice friends...more friends than anything... through the dating sites. I have no regrets about that! You can always use a friend!!

Ruthie's do's and don'ts

I don't sleep with someone until I am in a relationship with them. (No judgement on anyone else, not a moral thing, just a way to keep myself from mixing up lust and love...which I have done and regretted. )

I don't date until I know we have "something" to work with. Sparks, a pull, something.

I don't date someone who lives too far away.

I don't date someone who is always unemployed with no prospects. ( I don't care where you work, as long as you work or you are going to school to prepare for work. Maybe that sounds cruel in this economy.. but I don't mean those who are out of work for good reasons, just those who don't want to work.)

I don't date anyone who wants me to support and/take care of them. If we are a couple and something bad happens, I will be with you... but I have had the experience more than once, of someone just looking for someone to take care of them or rescue them from their situation. That is not love to me.

I do treat people with respect.

I am open about myself, ask anything.

I do treat my date like I would want to be treated.

I do listen... closely.

I do want the same in return.

I do like to have my door opened for me, a hand at the small of my back, help with my coat... Love being the femme.. love being on the arm of a butch!

I AM totally honest about what I think is important! Always upfront about the sex thing. Always up front that my mother and I share a home. (Isn't that what you are SUPPOSE to do when your mother gets to a certain age?)

If all this doesn't appeal to someone else... that's fine, I don't take it personally.. everyone is different. Everyone has had time to figure out what they do and don't want in dating and in a relationship. I respect other's desires for their lives and if we don't match, so be it. NOT a problem and I won't hold it against you if we don't. I only ask that someone be honest with me when we don't match up instead of keeping me "on the hook" in case I change my mind or someone better doesn't come along.

Enough for now.... boy this got long! lol I will share some good and bad dates on some other day.

Ruthie