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grenade · 11-24-2012, 02:21 PM

Monday, December 08, 2008

blog humbug.

I really hate this time of year. When I was a little girl, Christmas always had a sort of magical appeal. Not just the day, but the weeks leading up to it. Even though I never believed that Santa was real, I loved the idea of him. I believed in the spirit of mankind. That there was goodness in all of us. I believed in things like goodwill and peace. A virgin birth. A supernatural infant born to smite the assholes and douchebags of the world. (I might have just called them bad guys back then.) Oh, and save us from our sins. (Good luck with that one.)

As I laid in bed a couple nights ago, I thought about what a mess this holiday is. My mood sank even further and I shed a few angry, exhausted tears. My baby girl was cuddled next to me and asked me, 'What's wrong, Mama?'

'I'm just tired, baby. Thinking about Christmas and how I'm going to pay for everything.'

*she wipes my tears away with a single finger and fixes her dark brown eyes on mine* (a look I will never forget, in this lifetime or the next.)

And she says,' Don't worry about getting me anything. Worry about the little guy. I've been pretty good, so I'll get something from Santa.' The little guy is her 5 year old brother.

I asked her,'Won't you be upset if you don't get a gift from me?'

She continued staring deep into my eyes and took her turn with the tears. 'No, Mommy. I already have the best mommy ever. It doesn't get better than that.'

*At this point, I want to take the time to remind you that she is just 7. On the off chance that she wasn't sincere...even more brilliance.*

I snuggled her close and she whispered in my ear,'I love you all the way to God...' *pause* 'however far that is.'

So...

I guess all in all, Christmas is what you make it, whatever your stripes may be. My original ideas of Christmas are still alive in the heart of at least one 7 year old. Does it change how I feel about about this time of year? Not so much. It does make it bearable. So, Merry Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, or whatever you may celebrate. Peace to you and yours.

11-24-2012, 02:21 PM	#2
grenade Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Full Flavor Femme Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Midwest Posts: 2,929 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,925 Thanked 8,058 Times in 2,121 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Old blog. I cleaned it up a lot. I had/have a potty mouth... Monday, December 08, 2008 blog humbug. I really hate this time of year. When I was a little girl, Christmas always had a sort of magical appeal. Not just the day, but the weeks leading up to it. Even though I never believed that Santa was real, I loved the idea of him. I believed in the spirit of mankind. That there was goodness in all of us. I believed in things like goodwill and peace. A virgin birth. A supernatural infant born to smite the assholes and douchebags of the world. (I might have just called them bad guys back then.) Oh, and save us from our sins. (Good luck with that one.) As I laid in bed a couple nights ago, I thought about what a mess this holiday is. My mood sank even further and I shed a few angry, exhausted tears. My baby girl was cuddled next to me and asked me, 'What's wrong, Mama?' 'I'm just tired, baby. Thinking about Christmas and how I'm going to pay for everything.' she wipes my tears away with a single finger and fixes her dark brown eyes on mine (a look I will never forget, in this lifetime or the next.) And she says,' Don't worry about getting me anything. Worry about the little guy. I've been pretty good, so I'll get something from Santa.' The little guy is her 5 year old brother. I asked her,'Won't you be upset if you don't get a gift from me?' She continued staring deep into my eyes and took her turn with the tears. 'No, Mommy. I already have the best mommy ever. It doesn't get better than that.' At this point, I want to take the time to remind you that she is just 7. On the off chance that she wasn't sincere...even more brilliance. I snuggled her close and she whispered in my ear,'I love you all the way to God...' pause 'however far that is.' So... I guess all in all, Christmas is what you make it, whatever your stripes may be. My original ideas of Christmas are still alive in the heart of at least one 7 year old. Does it change how I feel about about this time of year? Not so much. It does make it bearable. So, Merry Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, or whatever you may celebrate. Peace to you and yours.