Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post - "The Headpat"

spritzerJ · 12-17-2012, 05:56 AM

Head patting experiences...

Not many on line. If I feel like head patting is a persons way of interacting with femmes I tend to not enjoy their company and avoid them. Once I believed someone was "head patting" and I addressed it. Often it doesn't register. And I am learning to distinguish it.

In the B-F or larger queer community...
Sometimes but again I avoid the "head patting" folks. I also have very little experience with community (work and parent that's what I do) so that limits my response pool.

from Cis-men...
I get head patting in relation to cars, the weather, driving, fixing things, etc. I can either raise the point of my actual skill level or acknowledge my skill deficits and welcome the advice with a reminder that it is impossible to tell from my female status what I already know.

From other women...
It drives me absolutely batty and happens frequently. It happened recently at work with a woman supervisor. It was appalling and I still haven't figured out how to address it with the actual person. Some women I talk to about it with get it others just dismiss it. As part of what we are expected to put up with. I am trying to understand my very angry response. I'm not ready to address it calmly yet.

12-17-2012, 05:56 AM	#20
spritzerJ Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: Queer (gender), female (biological marker) Preferred Pronoun?: she will work as a default. Relationship Status: engaged to jac until 8/10/14 Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Maine Posts: 3,154 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,307 Thanked 15,802 Times in 2,905 Posts Rep Power: 0	Head patting experiences... Not many on line. If I feel like head patting is a persons way of interacting with femmes I tend to not enjoy their company and avoid them. Once I believed someone was "head patting" and I addressed it. Often it doesn't register. And I am learning to distinguish it. In the B-F or larger queer community... Sometimes but again I avoid the "head patting" folks. I also have very little experience with community (work and parent that's what I do) so that limits my response pool. from Cis-men... I get head patting in relation to cars, the weather, driving, fixing things, etc. I can either raise the point of my actual skill level or acknowledge my skill deficits and welcome the advice with a reminder that it is impossible to tell from my female status what I already know. From other women... It drives me absolutely batty and happens frequently. It happened recently at work with a woman supervisor. It was appalling and I still haven't figured out how to address it with the actual person. Some women I talk to about it with get it others just dismiss it. As part of what we are expected to put up with. I am trying to understand my very angry response. I'm not ready to address it calmly yet.