Quote:
Originally Posted by Medusa
This is such a salient point from you and Snowy and really speaks to perceived power. (and I don't mean that disrespectfully).
I'll try to muddle through this as best I can - Like, I think about how some of the head-patting I have been on the receiving end of has been from folks who perceived themselves to be in positions of power over me. Either as a Top, a "Daddy", an older person, a thinner person, a more educated person, etc.
How have you addressed this in your own experiences?
I have usually said something along the lines of "You may be a Daddy but you ain't *my* Daddy" and "That's great that you are older and have more experience but this is what *I* have experienced".
I do try to be mindful of my own head-patting stuff when talking to other folks and keep an open mind so that I can always learn from other folks without my own filter of "already know".
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In real time, it's easier to address and snip it right away so it doesn't take root and grow.
Here on forums when I do continue to claim my space things such as this happen:
Deflection
Accusations of being a bully
Accused of being a Silencer
I am now going to put you on ignore
Othered (verbiage as some, those, others)
or my favorite they go after weatherboi
At that point that kind of head patting and irrational sexist imposition becomes comical to me and I just watch and let the perpetrator hang themselves cause they generally do cause they just can't help it. It's nice that here on BFP that Femme's are not expected to sit quietly and let the butch/man/masculine folk run the forums. Our voices are just as important.