BB's and my relationship was an LDR for the first year (nothing terrible, NY / Boston). I remember lots of exciting phone sex and lots of long bus rides on the Fung Wah line that runs all day and night back and forth between NYC and Boston. In fact I was on the Fung Wah when BB called me and told me a year into our relationship that hy'd just been contacted by a head hunter for an incredible job in NYC. Receiving that phone call was even more exciting than the phone sex
. Wow, I was so ready for BB to move in!
Of course BB was in a much scarier position than me: having to uproot hymself from somewhere hy'd lived for the last 20 years and all that goes with that. On the first day hy moved in instead of being stressed we were laughing through all the stress of the move (not to mention I lived in a 4th floor walk-up), and I recall thinking that was a good sign. We still make each other crack up even when things in life are hard.
Over the years, BB felt the discomfort of having moved into my space. However, I was adamant that we must stay because the bldg was rent stabilized (any NYer will understand my sentiments!). Then when an extended construction on the bldg took place (as in years of the bldg flooding and the ceiling falling in, etc.), BB broke down in tears and said hy was not breaking up but that he was going to move out whether I did or not. Hy went around, looking at 10 apartments a day, and finally found one that was perfect for us, smaller but so much more stable than our current situation. Of course I went with hym and ended up much happier than I'd been in the old apt. I think this was a real positive step in our relationship because this new space was neutral territory, and we planned it out together. It was no longer hym in my space but us in our space. It only made our relationship stronger.