[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by Ms. Meander

I am having some interesting and growth provoking experiences already in my journey into polyamory. Because this is all new and I started out single, I am mostly just dating. I could be called a solo polyamorist. What makes my situation different then just plain dating is that am open to multiple lovers and open to the possibilities of those relationships evolving into something deeper and long-lasting. The people I become involved with must understand and agree to these terms. I love the openness and clarity of it all. I am challenged to put my communication skills to work in ways that are still unfamiliar and a little uncomfortable at times, just because it is new. But the result is satisfying.

There have been a couple of bumps in the road already, that are being overcome. An ongoing lover who I believe to have longer-term potential is a very busy person and I got lost in the shuffle over the holidays, there was miscommunication when she thought we had spoken about something when in fact, I was left dangling. I didn't like it and I had to let her know. It was awkward for me but I did it and I'm glad I did. She's sorry and feels badly that the circumstances did not reflect my importance to her. I am valuable. My time is valuable. My relationships need to reflect that.

It was also awkward for me to tell her that I'm about to go on a date with someone new. All of this openness is not second-nature. Society breeds it out of us and we have to work hard to re-learn it. So glad I'm making the effort.

Hi there!

Thank you so much for sharing this. i thing i have learned is that communication and 100% honesty, which includes divulging ALL that needs to be divulged is KEY to poly. Those little bumps need to be nipped in the bud to avoid a full blown problem down the line.

i have a rule that i talk about sometimes. It's kind of a 2 day thing. If something is bothering me after a couple of days, i need to talk about it. i sometimes have a knee jerk reaction to things, and i am trying to work on that. i am also working on not taking other people's behaviors personally.

Holding back on what needs to be discussed is damaging. Hearing the truth can be painful, but anything less will only make matters worse.