[aishah]

i don't think i police other people's gender...i probably have made thoughtless, fucked up comments in the past and just not realized it. but i do intentionally try to not have preconceptions about people based on their clothing, looks, etc., mainly because i know how much it sucks when people do it to me.

i have been gender policed pretty frequently in my life - mainly for not being femme enough. my ex always said that i was not feminine enough, didn't wear enough heels, makeup, dresses, etc. in queer spaces i've definitely gotten the vibe that i'm not femme enough from interactions with many people. and occasionally also that i am not queer enough. the most interesting experiences of gender policing for me have been intersectional - for example, when i am policed for not presenting like a good muslim woman. often this policing comes from non-muslim friends who don't understand that muslim women dress/act all kinds of different ways and that just because i don't dress one way doesn't mean that i am not muslim. when i did used to cover my hair, i experienced some policing within the muslim community (towards me and also seeing it towards other people) about clothing choices and styles and not being pious enough in our gender presentation.