adorable,
I hear your pain. I dont know if there is a viable alternative that works for everyone. I know what sometimes works for me and maybe there is something in there that may be of use to you. For me, I try and deal with people and relationships in the following ways:
1. Remember that people come and go in our lives for reasons that are rarely apparent at the time.
2. People being people make all kinds of mistakes and errors in judgement for many reasons. Some of these can be very harmful, some merely an annoyance. It doesnt make them bad people but it does make me think about where, if anywhere, they belong in my life.
3. Trust is something to be earned, not given freely.
4. Actions speak louder than words and the truth lays somewhere in between.
5. Women tend to hold on to relationships long after the positives outweigh the negatives. Letting go is difficult but necessary to growth.
6. If it feels like work, there is a serious problem that needs to be addressed.
7. Always pay attention to your gut and the red flags it sees. We have senses and intuition for a reason.
8. Don't enter into commitments easily. It is easy to get caught up in the heat of the moment or the joy of something new. Take a step back and evaluate more carefully.
9. Choose wisely. Who we are attracted to and who fits in our lives are not necessarily the same person. Reminds me of that Amy Irving movie where she is attracted to the artist but a better fit with the pickle guy. The artist is wild, exciting, unpredictable. The pickle guy is normal, stable, and boring.
10. Always take responsibility. There are no guarantees, no certainties in life. We have control over us and the decisions we make. We shape our lives and the experiences we have. Its a life long growth experience. There will be ups and downs, good times and sucky times, but in the end, what matters is living as the person we want to be. All the experiences we have are merely stepping stones to our developing that person.
11. If 1-10 dont work.....call Uncle Guido....he has a more rudementary sense of justice.
