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Jet · 03-31-2010, 01:21 PM

Hello everyone.

I don't sleep much these days going through this process; I'm finally up and I wanted to touch base. Thanks to those of you who i have been in touch with in the course of starting this process. The most difficult part for me is going it alone due to the nature of this. Doctors and hospitals don't work, although i will be getting meds to hold down the anxiety and stress of going through this.

Life is on hold. Contract designs, full-time job hunting, trips —everything is on hold and I can tell you that nearly every hour is or will be spent on processing this through. The damage in me is far more extensive and the PTSD much more serious than I ever realized. But it has taken nearly 2 months to get the full picture in view. I was in touch with my two best friends back home yesterday who are aware of what's going on and I'm in touch with my friend in here in Georgia.

Thanks for all of your prayers and thoughts. I'm lucky to be standing quite honestly. But you know 17 years is a long time to hold something in. You forget, suppress, and internalize which is incredibly dangerous. I will be in touch here because it is a link to all of us who relate and it is an outlet for me as well. I appreciate being able to connect here at the Planet. The weather has finally nice and I want to integrate a lot of walking. I've had to quit my weightlifting because of lack of concentration and many flashbacks. Mine feel as though i will faint and often I'll keel over with severe fear or anxiety. So, my workout regimen right now is shot. If I can get balanced out enough in the coming weeks I'll try it again. This has taken my life and I'm in fight to reclaim my person and my life.

There have been hundreds of times I've asked God to take me. He said no.

With that....

Be safe and be strong everyone,
I love you.

Jet

03-31-2010, 01:21 PM	#342
Jet Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: .. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: .. Posts: 3,471 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 292 Thanked 2,647 Times in 1,293 Posts Rep Power: 0	Hello everyone. I don't sleep much these days going through this process; I'm finally up and I wanted to touch base. Thanks to those of you who i have been in touch with in the course of starting this process. The most difficult part for me is going it alone due to the nature of this. Doctors and hospitals don't work, although i will be getting meds to hold down the anxiety and stress of going through this. Life is on hold. Contract designs, full-time job hunting, trips —everything is on hold and I can tell you that nearly every hour is or will be spent on processing this through. The damage in me is far more extensive and the PTSD much more serious than I ever realized. But it has taken nearly 2 months to get the full picture in view. I was in touch with my two best friends back home yesterday who are aware of what's going on and I'm in touch with my friend in here in Georgia. Thanks for all of your prayers and thoughts. I'm lucky to be standing quite honestly. But you know 17 years is a long time to hold something in. You forget, suppress, and internalize which is incredibly dangerous. I will be in touch here because it is a link to all of us who relate and it is an outlet for me as well. I appreciate being able to connect here at the Planet. The weather has finally nice and I want to integrate a lot of walking. I've had to quit my weightlifting because of lack of concentration and many flashbacks. Mine feel as though i will faint and often I'll keel over with severe fear or anxiety. So, my workout regimen right now is shot. If I can get balanced out enough in the coming weeks I'll try it again. This has taken my life and I'm in fight to reclaim my person and my life. There have been hundreds of times I've asked God to take me. He said no. With that.... Be safe and be strong everyone, I love you. Jet