[Gemme]

Originally Posted by always2late

Several years ago, my dad and I had a discussion about the decimation of "traditional" masculine attributes. He stated that society and the media were making the idea of "traditional" masculinity superfluous. The idea of masculinity representing strength was become an anaethema. "Men", according to my dad, were now supposed to be "sensitive" and exhibit attributes commonly associated with the traditional idea of "feminine". I began thinking about how I viewed masculinity....and what I "expected" with regards to behavior and mannerisms. And, at the risk of receiving a ton of sh*t for it, I have to admit that the type of masculinity I am attracted to could best be described as "traditional".

P.S. Came back to edit and add this....for the femmes...what do you look for in a partner with regard to masculinity? What are your ideas and/or preferences in this area?

For me, I need to be with someone that exhibits some of the more traditional traits and actions of masculinity that you are probably attracted to yourself.

I like the physical manifestation of masculinity as I see it, such as shorter hair, callused hands, deeper voice, and masculine dress.

It's not only because it's what I like to see and feel, but the more masculine my partner presents, the more feminine I feel. Some femmes view themselves the same no matter who they are with. I am not like that. I need that balance.

Originally Posted by julieisafemme

I am not sure I know what traditional masculinity is. Is it like OFOS butches? Is it a nostalgia for another era or time?

For myself, it is similar to OFOS butches in behavior and mannerisms and looks, yes.

Originally Posted by GentleAndro

As for what is considered "masculine" that is indeed a sticky wicket. So much of what is defined as "masculine" is influenced by family and society and culture so I can't speak from anything but my own experience.

I was raised by a quiet man who treated everyone with courtesy and respect, but women a bit more so by opening doors, paying the bill, etc. As such, I picked that up. Because I'm a woman, I intrinsically value the strength, independence and determination found in women. Being born a woman, I understand firsthand what it means to be invisible or passed over as a result of "male privilege." If I had been born a male, or self-identify as a male, I may not fully understand these concepts on a deep seated level. As such, I think that influences how I treat women with my "masculine" nature.

With all that said, I do find that I naturally have many traits that society deems "masculine" (whether right or wrong.) I'm logical, not much of a talker except those close to me, a "fixer" a "protector" and a "provider." Those are all comfortable for me. However, other areas that society deems "masculine" I'm loathe to embrace simply because I identify more as "butch" than as "femme" such as : aggressive, cocky, brash, a womanizer, etc. Note that I don't assume that to identify as "butch" one is any of those things, but from my experience over the years, I've witness many "butch" women (especially in the early coming out years) look at their male counterparts and choose to automatically demonstrate all behaviors and dress (positive and negative) simply as the "easy" way to seem more masculine rather than look within themselves to define their own demonstration of their masculine traits.

I loved this post as a whole, but especially the underlined parts.

I love the representation of masculinity, but not when it turns into a WWF free for all. The brassness and crude behaviors can take a hike for all I care. Please don't posture. It's not pretty and it's not productive.

The other behaviors and traits that you described are lovely, though.