[WingsOnFire]

Originally Posted by Daring_Dreamer

I'm not sure where to post this. I'm sorry if this offends anyone. That is not my intention, I'm just looking for some advice. It's about my fiance. I'm using gender neutral pronouns, because that is what they are comfortable with right now. They are just starting to come out to me as trans, and I am the first person they have ever talked to about it. We are both in our 20's. The few times they have talked to me about it, it's only been at night when we are in bed and all the lights are out. I've been careful not to make a big deal out of it, and to let them know that I love them for who they are, not the body that they are born into, and that they are a good person, that what they are going through is not wrong, that there is nothing to be ashamed of. We are saving up for top surgery for them. Their family is very religious and conservative. My fiance came out as gay several years ago and their family has always been clear that they do not aprove. There is a trans support group where we live, but they are not comfortable talking to anyone else yet. While I love and support them completely, they need advice and support from someone who understands what they are going through, they need more than me. But since they are not ready to talk to anyone else yet, I'm wondering if there are any books that they can read that would help? Or any other advice?

I too want to commend you for your support of your fiance. I began my first relationship with a trans man four years ago. I had never even entertained the idea before that relationship. I have learned so much about myself and what a relationship with a trans person is like. It has been very rewarding but in the beginning I did struggle with what others would think or how to discuss it or if I even should.

So if you would like to ever talk please feel free to PM me. I think you have gotten great advice so far. Keep supporting your fiance and make sure to take care of yourself along the way.

Becca