A year ago, 2011, the day after Thanksgiving....my mother had a terrible stomach ache. The next morning, it was so bad that I had to have her rushed to the ER.
After a couple weeks of this test and that test and various treatments....they did surgery......on Friday, Dec. 9th. When the surgeon opened her up, all he could see was cancer growth......both ovarian and intestional cancer. The next day we met to go up and tell our mom the results of surgery. She was bound and determined not to ruin any of our holidays and wanted to see her grandkids and great-grandchild open their gifts. Christmas was and still is my families favorite time of the year. Oncologist said that with treatment, she could live 1 - 1 1/2 years...without, perhaps 6 weeks. My mother was very short.....very Italian...very fiesty...very bossy.....and very stubborn...and refused any chemo treatment.
A few days later, she told me that all she wanted to do was to go home for the holidays...she was living with me at the time...so that Friday, 12/16, I had her brought home. For the next week I ran around getting her gifts purchased and wrapped...food bought...house decorated...and care for her, along with my brother and occassional home health care nurse (not overly impressed with them). Then on Friday afternoon....she told me she was done. I called hospice and they came over to do the paperwork and medicines...absolutely wonderful team...loved, loved, loved, them. In the middle of the night, my mom told me she was having terrible dreams...when she woke up a couple hours later...she told me it wouldn't be long. I called everyone and she passed that evening...Christmas Eve.
Everyone told me not to worry about dinner the next morning....but I got up early..."talked" with mom and made everything...Prime Rib Roast...Honey Ham...etc, etc. (my mother liked that Christmas song...about the boy who buys his mom red shoes on Christmas so she has them before she dies......my mom always told us if we
ever bought her red shoes for Christmas...she would kick us out.....I know, it was my house...but she would still kick us out.....lol). So, we sit down to eat...do a Christmas toast...and I get up to go put the radio on...sure enough, what immediately starts from the beginning? It is that song. Made my brother start misting.
After dinner, we went into the media room to have the kids open gifts....my niece was taking photos of her daughter, in the dress that great-grammy bought her...it was such a fun and lively Christmas. Everyone was laughing and we just felt the spirit all through us. There was so, so much laughter and energy that night.
(my mothers favorite movie is the Twilight Series, her favorite color is purple, and her favorite flower is lilacs)
The next morning one of my brothers and I went to the funeral home. When we walked into the room full of urns, I immediately looked at a real nice purple one with silver etchings, up on a shelf....I pointed it out to my brother...who started misting again. He told me to come over and look at the name of it....."Twilight Lilac"......sold...we were done in 5 minutes.
When we got back to my house, my niece was there with her dad (other brother)...excited about the photos from the night before. In reviewing them....there was an orb in each of the photos...in different spots in each photo....around mom's grand-children/great-grandchild. She hadn't missed the holidays afterall. She was there from helping me cook to picking out what urn she wanted....I mentioned she was kinda bossy like that
A couple weeks later, I had her Celebration of Life in my backyard, around the pool. (She had written instructions for me. titled "My Last Chapter"..again...bossy Italian). I ordered chairs, special ordered lilacs, linens, etc. I cooked Italian foods and desserts for 125 people and we had 108 show up....
In reviewing photos of the celebration later on....there was an orb in the kitchen with me...as well as over my uncle in another photo (her favorite brother-in-law)...as well as next to her great-grandchild and my other nieces dogs.
Creepy...maybe...Wierd....yes...but I am very peaceful knowing that she is still here (telling us what to do...sigh)....and that she is also now with my dad (her Edward......for those Twilight fans).