[LexiLove]

Originally Posted by Random

When I first became sexual, I identified as bisexual..

I was attracted to a small percentage of women, and they scared the HELL out of me.. They generally were in the military, had short hair, and wore guys clothes.. They made my palms sweat and made me nervous and self aware in a way that I had never been before... I was actually aware of my skin, body...

I had absolutly no idea what to do with them.. I couldn't talk to them, look them in the eye... But I was aware...

Guys, I knew what to do with... From my first experience, I knew how to drive them insane... Knew my power and used it... I had no problem playing with them, talking to them, teasing them... I did have a problem connecting emotionally with them... It was about sex and power... There was tenderness, but that was not the norm..

So I called myself bisexual... Because of this awareness for a certain type of woman.. (I had no word/lable/knowledge of anything. My *gay* world was the world of the gay man...) I knew I couldn't be straight.

Fast forward 15 yrs later... A failed marriage, a couple flirtations, and I came out to myself... Gay.. Queer...

Yes. I understand this very well.