Trying to think about this further, I honestly have never thought of changing my last name. I don't think it has to do with specifically being butch, but I do think it very much has to do with being a lesbian. When I was younger I did not believe I wanted to get married, even if it was legal. I was in a 13 year relationship in my middle 20s to later 30s and we did not have a commitment or marriage ceremony. My feelings about marriage have changed, and now I really would like to if there is ever the opportunity for it.
There are some things I really have very little personal experience with that are common for most women. Maybe some are related to being butch, some with being a lesbian. I have no personal experience with birth control whatsoever. I have never even thought about it for myself, simply because I have never needed to. The same thing with changing my name. It just has never come up for me. I have had a couple of femmes express they would like to change their last name to mine if we got married. It truly felt like an honor and was something that meant a great deal to me. It was their choice to say and feel that. I don't feel it came out of any sense of obligation or need to follow any certain roles. It was something they felt they might like to do. I have never been asked if I would like to change mine by a femme I was partnered with. I would consider it, but it would be an entirely new experience for me to even contemplate. It isn't something I would volunteer on my own, because as I have said I am satisfied with my last name. If it was something that was very meaningful to her, I think I would do it out of love and it would feel like an honor.
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