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girl_dee · 11-08-2013, 06:19 AM

What immediately comes to mind is that in the beginning the men made the rules and it was decided that she would drop her name and use his. This would become the family name.

Given that women could not vote, work, drive or have an opinion about much that this was part of the rules and fell into that lump of stuff we were expected to do.

Butch femme is usually a masculine/feminine balance which does mimic hetero couples, and for us, being given the same rights as married folk, like being able to legally change our name in gay marriage is a right we jumped on.

i think we have adopted so many traditions of straight folks because that is what we know, i don't imagine many of us were raised by lesbians, or gay men. i think as time goes on we will right our own set of rules based on our own ideals and whatever the hell we want to do. Also there is not a damn thing wrong with adopting any tradition if that is what you want to do. But there ARE options.

Not taking the male/masculine/butch name in marriage is idea many have never even thought of, it's just expected. At one time women probably thought they would never get the right to vote, or opt for divorce, etc.

Again, i think it's lovely that some cherish this tradition.

11-08-2013, 06:19 AM	#17
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,831 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	Thinking out loud. What immediately comes to mind is that in the beginning the men made the rules and it was decided that she would drop her name and use his. This would become the family name. Given that women could not vote, work, drive or have an opinion about much that this was part of the rules and fell into that lump of stuff we were expected to do. Butch femme is usually a masculine/feminine balance which does mimic hetero couples, and for us, being given the same rights as married folk, like being able to legally change our name in gay marriage is a right we jumped on. i think we have adopted so many traditions of straight folks because that is what we know, i don't imagine many of us were raised by lesbians, or gay men. i think as time goes on we will right our own set of rules based on our own ideals and whatever the hell we want to do. Also there is not a damn thing wrong with adopting any tradition if that is what you want to do. But there ARE options. Not taking the male/masculine/butch name in marriage is idea many have never even thought of, it's just expected. At one time women probably thought they would never get the right to vote, or opt for divorce, etc. Again, i think it's lovely that some cherish this tradition.