[AtLast]

Originally Posted by Dylan

I think basing all of your future relationships off of past relationships only sets you up for being perpetually single.

I mean, yeah, there's a difference between using common sense and being a moron

But I also tend to think that if the same things keep happening with everyone you date, that has more to do with you than 'everyone you date'. When the only common variable is you, you're probably what's really at issue.

Looking for reasons NOT to date someone is kind of setting them up to fail, and you'll never find a partner. Yeah, some people are assholes, but if you treat everyone else like they're 'going to be an asshole, and I'm going to prove it by looking for any reason to prove that theory...see, look, you don't talk to me during these times. HA! gotcha fucker!" you're only setting yourself up.

If you look at the rest of the world as assholes just waiting to treat you badly, you'll definitely prove that's true...but maybe not because everyone really is an asshole, but because you treat everyone like they're an asshole.


Dylan

Some good points here! Have to take off the blinders, sometime! Always a red-flag to me when a woman I am dating goes into a negative comparative mode.... I know that she is not really dating me.... Remaining emotionally stuck doesn't make for good relationship building skills.

Another set-up for failure is just not taking the time to process a prior relationship. Everyone has a different internal clock with this, but, really being over it, makes a difference in future relationship possibilities. No matter how i meet someone, if the conversations are heavily filled about an ex, I know its best to offer friendship and nothing else at the moment. maybe later something can develop.

Also, a rule I have is finding out about someone on my own... not via talk, gossip, ex's, etc.

Just thinking about the fact that I do know a fair amount of couples that began via the internet that are doing quite well. I agree with Words that common sense and some caution is a good thing here, but, how people meet to me, just doesn't correlate with how things could work out.