I have been where you are. I know exactly how you feel. I got kicked out of the USMC for being gay. It was my dream to be a Marine. So not only did I lose my only source of income, I had my dream taken away. But not before they devasted me financially . I was in pretrial confinement for 6 months because they considered me a flight risk , because when they came to arrest me I was on emergency leave, my father had a massive heart attack and I went back home to be there since they didn't think he would make it. They were so pissed that I wasn't there when they came to arrest me, that is how they punished me. So for 6 months none of my bills got paid plus I had to shell out 10,000 for a lawyer . I only had 3000 dollars to my name back then. And I did not get paid 1 cent plus I had to pay back 5000 dollars I recieved as a re-enlistent bonus . I won't bore you with anymore details. I had to start over with nothing . I started driving a semi over the road when I got out of the USMC and was slowly trying to get back on my feet. I was gone for 6 weeks then I would get 3 days off. My gf at the time was supposed to be paying my bills etc while I was gone. She had access to my checking account, and my condo. Pay check was direct deposit and she was supposed to be paying my bills. Long story short, I was just getting back on my feet when I came home and found she had wiped me out. Stole all my furniture cleaned out my checking account etc... been lying cheating and stealing from me and hadn't paid a bill in over 2 months.
I called my twin I was devasted like you . She talked me into moving to Oklahoma where she was at the time. I loaded up what was left. My pickup truck a motorcycle , a dresser with all my clothes (wasn't much) and 1 pot. That was a long time ago . 1989
I still have that pot by the way. I keep it as a reminder . It reminds me that what is, has nothing to do with what can be. I didn't have 2 dimes to rub together when I came here. But I got a job right away and an awesome job 2 months after , and started rebuliding my life again . Oklahoma has been very good to me. I have come a long long way from that very difficult time in my life. I don't know if I can motivate you but I will tell you this.
You have a wife!!!! Most don't . You have kids most don't . You have a support system. Most don't . Your family made it out unharmed even your pet. Some don't . You are far richer than you know ! It's hard right now for you to feel it. And you may think I am mean to say this but I will say it anyway. You are just feeling sorry for yourself. Not that you don't have the right to, but that is why you can't see the blessings in your life right now. Feeling sorry for yourself is wasting precious time you should be focusing on rebuilding.
You still have your job right? So you still have an income. You still have a means to rebuild. You need money to replace the things you had. Money is the most replenishable resource there is. You have a family willing to help . Which makes it easier and you can rebuild your life faster with support from family. That is rare.
You don't have to be strong.( I don't think you're weak BTW) Just roll up your sleeves and get started. I always say, when I am down to nothing, that means the universe is up to something. If you put your energy into rebuilding the life you want , and you won't have time to worry about what you lost. The most important thing, BE GRATEFUL. I know it sounds crazy right now, how can you be grateful for losing everything. Well I will tell you how. I believe everything happens for a reason . And that reason is always in our best interest, even if we don't know what that reason is at the time. Like a jigsaw puzzle with the pieces thrown everywhere. None of it makes sense and you don't know why this happened and you just want to cry or strangle someone. And you don't know how this ever could be in your best interest. But time marches on and slowly all the pieces come together, you look back and you realize this had to happen in order for you to be where you are now.
Know that you can and will rebuild your life, and it won't be the same stuff, it will be better ! It won't happen overnight, but it will happen. Make it happen. You had it once, you can have it again. There is nothing stopping you. You didn't buy your things with insurance money the first time, you don't need it now either. Not getting insurance money you thought you had, only means it MIGHT take you a little longer to get what you want.
I won't tell you to be positive. You don't have to be positive , but you do have to be grateful .
I am sorry this happened to you. I know it sucks out loud. And if you just want to feel sorry for yourself then do it for an afternoon or something then knock it off and get back to work !!!
And don't forget to be grateful. In 5 years you have to contact me and tell me I was right !!!! Deal ?????
