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Old 01-17-2014, 03:06 PM   #1112
TruTexan
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lesbian butch
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: in a one horse town in a large state, in the U.S.
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Tommi, A BIG THANKS to you today for the shout out. Yes, I did need my mom to know. I told her lets not worry until I find out further from the biopsy, but being my mom that she is, she's OMG stage now. I know she's probably stressing out more than I am today. I told her it's not necessary for her to go with me to get the biopsy. My neighbor is going to drive me there to Tyler, an hour away from where I live to get the biopsy done at the Breast Center at the hospital. I am just more worried today about my mom's stress level, but if I hadn't told her and she found out she'd be pretty upset with me and never let me live it down, it would be a huge issue that I didn't tell her about it and what I'm having done. She's very scared of getting cancer because my grandmother , her mom, died from colon cancer or ovarian cancer that had spread. She is so afraid of cancer it's not even funny. I know I"m in God's hands and if it's his will I have it and have to go through treatment for it, then so be it. I have a positive attitude today and today is all I'm going to worry about. My ptsd and anxiety are bad enough to take meds for, but it's under control . I just hope it's nothing to be honest. That it comes back benign.
Thanks for your shout out and support Tommi. I need it from friends online. I have really have no friends in my tiny town here. I only live where I live so that I can be mom's caregiver and help her when she needs help, take her to her doctor appts. etc. I'm the only child she has that was able to move here to help her after my stepfather passed 4yrs ago this month. My younger sister lives all the way in TN. I called her yesterday about it and today about what they said. She's afraid too. I told her don't be, I can handle it. That my spirits are high and that I will just have both breasts removed if i have cancer and she laughed and said it would make me more butch looking. I laughed. we joked, she teared up, I laughed some more she laughed more. She's the onlyi sister I have that I talk to and not very much, she's so busy with her job and family there. She works really long hours in IT for the state of TN. And is rarely able to talk to me. my older sister is a nut job, I don't speak to her anymore. Anyway, I thank you and all of you in this thread that have reached out to me in posts, it' means a lot to me. Thank you and God Bless all of you here.


PS. Maybe this just hasn't hit me yet like it should. I don't know. I'm kinda feeling like I am in limbo and nervous about it all.

Justy
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