[Kobi]

I have spent an hour trying to figure out why the phrase "butch femininity" offends me. I still have no answer but it does.

First and foremost, I am a woman. I own it, accept it, and take pride in it. I just do it my way. By conventional standards, I am more masculine than feminine but it doesnt distract me from being female.

I am also a lesbian. I take pride in partnering with women who enjoy being with another woman and can appreciate the totality of being 2 women together. There is a different dynamic in the exchange of energies.

I am reluctant to id as a female id butch these days because butch has transformed from being about how to express masculine energy to gender issues celebrating male.

I dont wear mens clothing, suits or ties. I wear scents I like, not based on who they are marketed to. I dont get a vicarious thrill out of discussing the merits of boxers vs briefs in mixed gender environments. I dont do a lot of things that are seem as stereotypical in either direction.

I have never felt pressure from a male id butch, transgendered person, or a transman to act or dress or express myself in a certain way to be seen a certain way.

I have felt pressure from femmes to dress, look, think, act, flirt, have sex, and just be different cuz it is what they expect or prefer. They seem to have difficulty relating to me as a woman. And, they have a knack for making me feel less than.

Thankfully, this seems to be just an online thing.