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Cin · 01-31-2014, 09:31 PM

I want to post cause I found Nat's thread asking about butch femininity pretty awesome. Not the usual stuff. And clearly I am posting because I really want to post in this thread, but I don't know what to say. I see the direction has changed a bit. And I don't know exactly what we are talking about. I'm trying to follow but i'm not sure I get it. I do understand that lots of people are digging it though and feel it's a really great convo. I'm glad. I really like people to be happy and to enjoy themselves. But I'm not sure exactly what it's all about.

However, I got the part about policing boundaries and the importance of softness about the edges. There is always slippage around the borders of things. It stresses some people, makes them anxious. I know we are not speaking geographically here but it is still a good example. The amount of give at borders depends on what you are trying to keep in but often more importantly what you are attempting to keep out. Crossing over from Canada to the US is easier than crossing over from Mexico. But wherever you are placing boundaries they need give. Margins need flexibility.

Personally I think anybody is a lesbian who says they are a lesbian. I think anybody is a butch who says they are a butch. I think anybody is a femme who says they are a femme. If you say you are a woman then you are a woman to me. If you say you are a man, you are a man to me. I respect other people's choices.

I know there are certain requirements that need to be met or words become meaningless and exchanges of ideas impossible because the ground keeps shifting. I suppose you can't just say you are Polish when you don't meet the criteria. But I don't want to be the one to have to tell someone they aren't Polish if they feel they are. I hate killing people's dreams.

I know that not all Muslims are terrorists. I know that some terrorists are radical Islamists. I would never negate someone's personal experience with terrorism perpetrated by radicals who happen to be Muslim by saying they should not talk about their horrible experience with terrorism just because there is way too much Muslim bashing going on. However, if there were a place where Muslims and those who have been victims of terrorism by radical Islamic terrorists shared space it might not be the sanest, safest, or fairest place to hash out prejudices against Muslims. I guess this is a terrible example but I can't think of a different one. I'm just trying to say that here on the Planet I don't think it is possible for lesbians to get a fair shake. Too much water under the bridge. Too much anger at them uppity women.

01-31-2014, 09:31 PM	#13
Cin Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Truly Madly Deeply Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: In My Head Posts: 2,814 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,333 Thanked 10,436 Times in 2,476 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	I want to post cause I found Nat's thread asking about butch femininity pretty awesome. Not the usual stuff. And clearly I am posting because I really want to post in this thread, but I don't know what to say. I see the direction has changed a bit. And I don't know exactly what we are talking about. I'm trying to follow but i'm not sure I get it. I do understand that lots of people are digging it though and feel it's a really great convo. I'm glad. I really like people to be happy and to enjoy themselves. But I'm not sure exactly what it's all about. However, I got the part about policing boundaries and the importance of softness about the edges. There is always slippage around the borders of things. It stresses some people, makes them anxious. I know we are not speaking geographically here but it is still a good example. The amount of give at borders depends on what you are trying to keep in but often more importantly what you are attempting to keep out. Crossing over from Canada to the US is easier than crossing over from Mexico. But wherever you are placing boundaries they need give. Margins need flexibility. Personally I think anybody is a lesbian who says they are a lesbian. I think anybody is a butch who says they are a butch. I think anybody is a femme who says they are a femme. If you say you are a woman then you are a woman to me. If you say you are a man, you are a man to me. I respect other people's choices. I know there are certain requirements that need to be met or words become meaningless and exchanges of ideas impossible because the ground keeps shifting. I suppose you can't just say you are Polish when you don't meet the criteria. But I don't want to be the one to have to tell someone they aren't Polish if they feel they are. I hate killing people's dreams. I know that not all Muslims are terrorists. I know that some terrorists are radical Islamists. I would never negate someone's personal experience with terrorism perpetrated by radicals who happen to be Muslim by saying they should not talk about their horrible experience with terrorism just because there is way too much Muslim bashing going on. However, if there were a place where Muslims and those who have been victims of terrorism by radical Islamic terrorists shared space it might not be the sanest, safest, or fairest place to hash out prejudices against Muslims. I guess this is a terrible example but I can't think of a different one. I'm just trying to say that here on the Planet I don't think it is possible for lesbians to get a fair shake. Too much water under the bridge. Too much anger at them uppity women.