[Daywalker]

Originally Posted by evolveme

"There is no hierarchy in the field of growth,
it is simply a common struggle..."

I'm always disappointed, but rarely surprised, when adults have a difficult time stomaching the hard conversations. For me, it's the hard conversations, the ones in which we struggle and rub against each other and are confronted with our fear, our exclusion, our hate, our power, our privilege--all the tough and tricky burdens--in which we really come together. Those are the discussions in which I believe we grow.

I don't see dissent as a displeasure, so much as the necessary sacrifice of a consciousness working it out. I am never afraid to disagree. But then, I try to never take matters of disagreement personally. When I do, I try to own it and move forward.

I will never believe that all the Kumbaya business in the world can bring us a sense of community. That makes for false mortar. I believe community is better built in being civil, but forthright. I believe in Doing The Work.

And sometimes that means we will be heated. We will staunchly disagree. But we will, if we are wise, understand what brought us together in the first place. We have a commonality more significant than any of our differences. It is this that has laid the foundation for any of our community building efforts. It is this that made a place for us here.

I believe in the theory that the hard stuff must be brought forth in order to
gain a better perspective n what have you. I read a lot. I may not jump
in to some conversations, because frankly some of them get over wrought
with bullshit back n forths that are more personal; than those that are
actually addressing the main Topic at hand. I am also one who tends
to care about the words that I use, and how all folks might interpret them.
And I never post my words as if I am right and everyone else who doesn't
agree just 'doesn't get it...so they are wrong'. I will not speak from a clouded
point of frustration, because when I read folks who do just that thing...I cannot
get past their disposition far enough to decipher what it is they are really
trying to say. Heated discussions are great, so long as the Topic does not
get clouded over in a circus of demeanor's that resemble hecklers with no
meaning, only destructive motives and divisiveness. There really is a way
to discuss the Hard Stuff without being fucked up to one side of the
conversationalists, and only defending those who agree with me.

To Me

Addressing anything Butch Femme related, includes the Voices of Past,
Present AND Future Butches of our Community. No one should feel left
out of a conversation (or the target of) over such things as pronouns,
which is just a preference as to how we have chosen to be addressed
within the Community. And yes, our commonalities are indeed more
significant than our differences.