TMI Alert
This was the thread that most closely matched what I have to say, so I hope no one minds my having posted this here....
I awakened at 3am from such a deadly sound sleep that my face was noticeably swollen from fluids accumulated (I could feel the pressure even before I scared myself by looking in the mirror, lol) while my head was planted face-down in a pillow for hours and I found my arms were completely numb beneath me.
That happens to me sometimes; on those occasions when I sleep really hard.
After I quit drinking coffee about 2 months ago, the insomnia I suffered with for the past year + seems to have completely left me; at least for now. My new problem is actually a very old one that seems to have resurfaced: sleeping so soundly that I cannot wake up without some sort of very loud, jarring aid.
This happens more frequently during that time of the month for whatever reason.
When I was much younger, I used to fall asleep for entire weekends; unable to hear alarms or the telephone ringing or even someone trying to physically rouse me. I subsequently found that when I left a TV on for background noise (and I think the room being filled with ambient light helped, too), I didn't enter into such a deep sleep state and so I had CNN on in my bedroom 24/7 for quite a few years.
Anyway, as the fogginess lifted a bit this morning, my fear began speaking directly to me. So clearly, I could almost imagine it had a voice; and just what that voice might sound like, were Fear standing right beside me in tangible form whispering quiet poison into my rapt ear.
And as I listened, I sobbed like a scared child afraid of some imaginary Bogeyman under the bed. What the heck...?
I had to pee. Then I started my period and I suddenly knew what had happened. Usually, I get a backache so severe that it reduces me to tears; I didn't get that this time. That is what I can always rely on to know I'm about to get my period, because my cycle isn't always regular. The accompanying sickness is, though.
And once I actually start bleeding, the symptoms dissipate as if by magic. It's so bizarre.
My face is still really swollen even now; just over 2 hours later. And I don't know if it is from sleeping face-down or from the crying jag. Probably both. Each month, it seems to get worse; especially so as I have gotten older.
I cannot wait for menopause. I don't mean to make light of it, as I know it creates a great deal of suffering for many people; but as it stands right now, I say please bring on the hot flashes and major mood swings. I welcome them.
Unfortunately, I'm only 38.
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Beauty is truth's smile when she beholds her own face in a perfect mirror. -Rabindranath Tagore
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