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imperfect_cupcake · 03-23-2014, 11:48 AM

Hey cca, just a word from a a girl used to using sites and been in many different dyke-genderqueer communities. I have dated/partnered/payed around with many different butch people. And depending on the community, they either use lots of different a labels (like here) or they just use one or two but still have the same variety of types of self concept.

Usually I tend to ignore the label or name, and just talk to them about how they like to be turned on, what they enjoy in bed, what they don't, listen to their stories, make suggestions and see how it floats or not. I find one person's ID mostly doesn't match another person's ID of the same ID. Or, two people of different IDs have very similar ways of having sex, loving and sharing and self concepts. That's also why some of my partners have no ID'd as butch at all, but they still behaved, self conceptualised, related and had sex like my butch partners.

Don't worry too much about the names. Talk to them as individuals instead. Even something like "stone" is very diverse in how they conceptualised their sexuality.

Many of my lesbian partners don't see themselves as having a pussy and many of them do. Many of my genderqueer butch partners see themselves a having one.

Lots of my butch playmates did not wish to use a cock at all, and some of my non-butch IDd partners were utterly dyke dick mad.

I have not found that ID to mean anything but a personal concept. I don't even consider myself a femme when I'm in North America. As it saves on assumptions from *within* the community on this side of the pond.
So, easiest way to figure all of the IDs? Don't. Just get to know people as individuals and let them tell you about themselves and their ideas around what it means to them.

03-23-2014, 11:48 AM	#100
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Hey cca, just a word from a a girl used to using sites and been in many different dyke-genderqueer communities. I have dated/partnered/payed around with many different butch people. And depending on the community, they either use lots of different a labels (like here) or they just use one or two but still have the same variety of types of self concept. Usually I tend to ignore the label or name, and just talk to them about how they like to be turned on, what they enjoy in bed, what they don't, listen to their stories, make suggestions and see how it floats or not. I find one person's ID mostly doesn't match another person's ID of the same ID. Or, two people of different IDs have very similar ways of having sex, loving and sharing and self concepts. That's also why some of my partners have no ID'd as butch at all, but they still behaved, self conceptualised, related and had sex like my butch partners. Don't worry too much about the names. Talk to them as individuals instead. Even something like "stone" is very diverse in how they conceptualised their sexuality. Many of my lesbian partners don't see themselves as having a pussy and many of them do. Many of my genderqueer butch partners see themselves a having one. Lots of my butch playmates did not wish to use a cock at all, and some of my non-butch IDd partners were utterly dyke dick mad. I have not found that ID to mean anything but a personal concept. I don't even consider myself a femme when I'm in North America. As it saves on assumptions from within the community on this side of the pond. So, easiest way to figure all of the IDs? Don't. Just get to know people as individuals and let them tell you about themselves and their ideas around what it means to them.